The Fine Art of Wedding Etiquette

Sometimes when you first start planning a wedding, the etiquette can seem overwhelming and perhaps even a little bewildering. However, following proper etiquette is a very important part of planning a wedding; it is about much more than style or appearances – good etiquette ensures that everyone feels respected and enjoys the event. This is a look at the fine art of wedding etiquette.

For those who do not know an invitation from an announcement, a great place to start is with one of the soup-to-nuts etiquette book, such as Emily Post’s. A comprehensive etiquette book not only covers things like how to write a proper thank you note, but will offer guidelines about many practical aspects as well. You can learn what sorts of items make appropriate bridesmaid gifts, how many appetizers to order per guest, and the order of the ceremony processional.

It also helps to have an understanding about the reasons behind some of the seemingly arcane bits of wedding etiquette. Why go to the trouble of creating a seating chart for the reception? It is because a good host takes care to put together dinner tables with a mix of people who will enjoy one another’s company and carry on lively conversation.  It also allows the bride and groom to make sure that honored guests, such as parents and grandparents, are assigned seats at the head tables, and it can even allow the bride the chance to try her hand at a little discreet matchmaking among the couple’s single friends.

Another great reason to brush up on your Emily Post is to make sure that you are a) making you guests feel appreciated and b) avoiding causing any offense. This is where thank you notes come into play. Dashing off a few words of personal appreciation on pretty stationery is nothing compared to the effort (not to mention the expense) that goes into shopping for, purchasing, wrapping, and shipping a wedding present. To neglect this most basic bridal duty is to both show a distinct lack of appreciation and to offend the giver at the same time. Knowing the proper etiquette, on the other hand, will make a fine impression on all of your wedding guests…including the friends of your in-laws, who are sure to comment to your mother-in-law about what a thoughtful, polite woman her son was lucky enough to marry.

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