What to Do When a Member of the Wedding Party Gets Sick

As with anything, there are degrees of illness. If a bridesmaid catches a cold the week of the wedding, she needs to take some cold medicine, stuff some tissues into her tiny little handbag, and show up at the appointed time in her dress and bridesmaid jewelry, ready to go. Pay your sick bridesmaid a little special attention by having some orange juice or a nice warm bowl of chicken soup waiting for her when she shows up to get her hair and makeup done. Of course, she would be forgiven for leaving the reception right after the cake cutting to go home and sleep.

Something like the flu, on the other hand, has the potential to knock a groomsman or bridesmaid right out of the wedding party. You don’t want someone standing at the altar who is likely to vomit right when the minister asks if anyone objects to the marriage! For that matter, your guests will not remember your wedding fondly if they all caught the flu from a highly contagious groomsman. If the fluish one happens to be one of the parents of the bride or groom, obviously they would do their best to make it to the wedding, but they should definitely skip the receiving line!

When the illness is more serious, flexibility is the key. This is no time to worry about whether the groomsmen and bridesmaid numbers will end up uneven at the last minute. If a member of the bridal party does have to bow out due to a serious illness, it would be very gracious of the bride to pay for her bridesmaid dress and bridesmaid jewelry and give it to her as a gift. If you are having a wedding program, by all means list her as an honorary bridesmaid. It would be very, very sweet to have a bridesmaid bouquet made for her and have it delivered to her bedside as well.

In very rare cases, an immediate member of the bride or groom’s family (parent, grandparent, or sibling usually) might be so very ill right before the wedding that their very life hangs in the balance. There comes a point when it is necessary to either postpone the wedding or to scale it back dramatically. If the very ill person is one of the bride or groom’s parents, they may even wish to consider having their ceremony at their parent’s bedside, if the patient is up to it. At least that way, all the most important people would still be there to witness the marriage.

Pre-Wedding Beauty Secrets

Secret Number One: Have your eyebrows professionally shaped. A pair of perfectly polished brows will give you that absolutely flawless look in your wedding pictures. On the other hand, scraggly brows will detract from even the most artfully applied makeup. Waxing, in particular, can leave redness, so have your eyebrows shaped a couple of days before the wedding.

Secret Number Two: Wear makeup! Seriously, no matter how natural and low key your everyday style may be, you need to wear makeup on your wedding day. This is not to say that you need to look like you are wearing tons of makeup, just that it should be there. If you do nothing else, use a sheer foundation to even out your complexion, use waterproof mascara to define your eyes, and put on a pretty kiss-proof lipstick.

Secret Number Three: Do not attempt to do your own hair for the wedding. This means seeing a professional for a really good looking highlights if you color your hair and having a professional style your hair for the wedding itself. Be sure to have a trial run before your wedding to make sure you and the hair stylist are on the same page. Bring along any accessories you will be wearing like your headpiece and Swarovski crystal earrings so the stylist can design a hairstyle that works with the rest of your look. Besides, if you have selected a really fabulous pair of Swarovski crystal earrings, you want to be sure that they are not covered up by your hairdo.

Secret Number Four: Get a paraffin manicure the day before your ceremony. There is nothing quite like dipping your hands in hot wax to slough away dead skin and make them baby smooth. By the way, grooms can also benefit from a paraffin hand treatment and a no-polish manicure. The guys who may be least likely to seek such a service on their own are often the ones whose hands need the most TLC, so it may be up to the bride to drag her fiance to the spa kicking and screaming!

Should You Wear Your Mother’s Wedding Gown?

When you become engaged, don’t be surprised to see your mom pulling a big box down from the attic. Inside that box is her wedding gown, saved all these years in the hopes that her daughter would one day wear it down the aisle. Some brides have always shared that same dream since childhood, while for others, nothing could be less appealing than wearing their mom’s gown. These are some things to consider while trying to decide if you should wear your mother’s wedding gown.

The style of your mother’s gown may well be the first thing that gets considered. However, do not put too much stock into the current version of the bridal gown. If your mom is willing and you can find someone who specializes in vintage restoration, an antique gown can often be remade to suit the taste of the next generation of bride. A good quality gown may pass through several generations, with each bride adapting it slightly to fit the style of her era.  Updated accessories like a beaded veil and beautiful bridal jewelry can also help to give a vintage gown a fresh new look. Of course, if your mom cannot bear to see her gown changed and you cannot bear to wear it as is, then it may be time to start shopping for a new bridal gown.

Most brides today are larger than their mothers. They are stronger, more muscular, and taller, which can make the mom’s old gown appear impossibly small. Happily, it is the rare gown which cannot be sized up at least a few inches to accommodate a modern frame. So if you are at all interested in wearing your mother’s wedding dress, it is worth taking it to a vintage specialist to see what the possibilities may be. Brides should be aware that if extensive resizing is needed, at some point restoring the family gown might get almost as expensive as purchasing a new dress.

One more factor to take into consideration is the wishes of both the bride and her mom. If it would mean the world to the mother of the bride to see her daughter wear her bridal gown, and she is willing to allow it to be refashioned to suit her daughter’s figure and taste, the bride should definitely think about wearing it. On the other hand, the daughter might feel strongly about getting a brand new gown. In the end, the bride has to feel good about whatever gown she wears on her wedding day, whether it is a family heirloom or a brand new wedding dress.

Questions to Ask Your Bridal Salon

When you find your dream wedding gown, it can be very easy to get swept away by the excitement and emotion of the moment (as well you should be!). But a bridal gown is also a big expense, and a lot rides on getting all of the details right. Before you leave the store on the day you order your wedding gown, be sure to ask these important questions of the bridal salon staff…

One: What is the deposit, what is the balance, and when is it due? A 50% deposit is customary at most bridal salons. This is basically to cover the wholesale cost of the gown, especially for those rare cases when the bride does not come to pick it up. If ordered early enough, your wedding gown might arrive at the bridal salon months before your wedding, but the balance might still need to be paid within a couple weeks of its arrival. Also be sure to find out if alterations will incur an additional fee.

Two: What if you change your mind on the gown or cancel the wedding? At many bridal salons, orders cannot be canceled once they have been sent in to the designer of your gown, because the designer probably does not accept cancellations. So even if you get cold feet the next day, it may be too late to pick a different style. Also be aware that deposits are usually non-refundable (no store wants to get stuck with your custom ordered gown!), so in the unlikely event that the wedding is called off, the bride will have to pay the balance on her dress and take it home, or forfeit the deposit and the store keeps the dress.

Three: Is it possible to try on all of the accessories at the final fitting? Most salons allow plenty of time at the final gown fitting for you to try on your veil, headpiece, bridal jewelry, and any other accessories with your gown. It is a really good idea to take advantage of the opportunity, in case you discover that the bridal jewelry needs to be adjusted to suit the neckline of your gown or that your gloves are the wrong shade of white. Better to find out at a gown fitting than on the day of your wedding when everything should be perfect!

Fun New Wedding Show: “Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta”

I am a sucker for wedding shows in general, and especially the ones which show the brides shopping for their gowns. If you love seeing brides try on mermaids, ballgowns, and all the rest in the quest for that one perfect wedding dress, then there is a new show you will love. The fun new wedding show of the season is “Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta”.

Southerners love a good wedding! This must be true based on the multi-generational clans which accompany the brides to Bridals by Lori in Atlanta. If picking out a dress to please your mom seems daunting, imagine also having to please your grandmother, your aunt, your sisters, your best friend, and oh yeah – yourself! It is a major undertaking, and sometimes it is a miracle if the bride finds a dress that the whole family can agree on.

The families on “Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta” are opinionated! And they are not shy about expressing their feelings on the bridal gowns, veils, and wedding jewelry, either. On one recent episode I saw, the bride was a stunning Atlanta Falcons cheerleader who was seeking something to wear for an outdoor wedding at an historic style location. But did the bride’s mom care about any of that? No way! The mother of the bride had decided that if fitted was good, skin tight was better and that if delicate beading was good, than an all-out sparkle explosion was the only way to go. The staff at Bridals by Lori got “madder than a wet hen” watching the mother shoot down everything her daughter liked, while the patient bride went home empty handed.

Sometimes those great big families can pull together to support the bride, even if it takes them a while to come around. That is one of the things that is the most fun about “Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta”. When a bride has tried on a gazillion gowns and she is about to tear her hair out, suddenly the fashion director or consultant pulls out a dark horse: a gown that is nothing like what the bride thinks she wants. She slips it on and the magic happens: moms start crying, stern grandmothers melt, and sisters cheer. This is the moment that makes all the drama worth it, for brides and the staff at the bridal salon.

Bachelor Parties Not Gone Wild

The bachelor party is a very, very old custom, dating back to ancient Sparta. It is also the wedding tradition with the worst reputation, by far! This is a look at bachelor parties not gone wild; in other words, how to have fun without getting into big trouble!

The customary time for the bachelor party was the night before the wedding. It is undoubtedly for this reason that the night before the wedding is now filled up with the rehearsal dinner, which is also a good time to give the groomsmen gifts.  If there is one thing that no bride wants, it is for her groom to stagger to the altar after a late night of partying with his buddies. These days, most bachelor parties are held weeks or even months before the wedding, which is a far more sensible arrangement.

Something else that has changed is what is considered acceptable at a bachelor party. The “one last fling” is definitely not okay with modern women! This is not to say that no guys have parties with “exotic dancers” or go to “gentlemen’s clubs”, to use the popular euphemisms, but any guy worth marrying knows that there is a line that should not be crossed. Secrets are sure to cause a fight with the bride-to-be if discovered, so if your friends are going to take you to a raunchy strip club, be upfront about it. If you are nonchalant about it, the bride will know that her fiance can be trusted, even if she disapproves.

Sporting events are one of the most popular kinds of the new-style bachelor party. For some grooms, nothing would beat a laid-back afternoon at the ballpark drinking beers and eating hot dogs with his best buds. Of course, if the groom has a favorite sport or hobby, such as golf or deep sea fishing, his friends could put together a bachelor party based on that activity. It is sure to be a fun outing that the groom will long remember, and as a bonus, it will not get him into trouble with the bride!

Jack and Jill Wedding Showers

A co-ed Jack and Jill shower has many things in common with a standard all-female shower. You will need invitations, food, decorations, and of course, presents. However, all of these things should be planned with a much less feminine flair than they would for a shower without the guys. Start with invitations; instead of something pink and frilly, choose a more gender neutral party invitation (it need not be specifically a bridal shower invitation, as those are likely to be very girly), such as one in green or blue instead of pink or purple. You don’t want the invitation to scare off the men you invite, after all!

Next, think about the decorations for your Jack and Jill party. Opt for a more modern and streamlined design than you might for a traditional shower. Pick a theme which is equally appealing to men and women; instead of the Victorian tea party, go for the backyard barbeque or cocktail party. Skip the lace tablecloths and wedding bells in favor of linens in an elegant dupioni (for a more formal party) or a casual print (for a very relaxed party). Create chic floral arrangements in shades of green and cream, versus pink, pink, and more pink. Attending a wedding shower will be a first time event for many of the men present, and you want to make sure that they do not feel like they accidentally stumbled into a “hen party”.

Many traditional bridal showers have games, such as making a “bridal gown” out of toilet paper or doing word scrambles with the names of kitchen tools. These games are frankly not appealing to many women, and they are certainly out of the question for a co-ed shower. A wedding party does not actually need games at all, but if you really want to include them, limit yourself to just one or two, and make them fun for everyone. The best choice is a questionnaire with questions about the bride and groom; whoever gets the most right answers wins a small prize. This is a fun game because it can spark a lot of funny answers and bring up a lot of silly old memories.

One thing that is absolutely the same for any wedding shower is that the guest of honor must thank their host appropriately. A small gift and a heartfelt letter of thanks from the bride and groom would be lovely after the Jack and Jill shower. If the hosts are bridesmaids, remember that you should get them a separate thank you gift apart from the bridesmaid jewelry you give them to thank them for being in your wedding. While bridesmaid jewelry is a wonderfully personal gift from the bride to her attendants, the hostess gift which is a joint present from the bride and groom should be a little less personal, such as a fine bottle of wine with a personalized bottle opener or a pair of theater tickets. It is a very gracious way to show your appreciation for the Jack and Jill wedding shower.

Sticky Wedding Attire Situations

These are some of the most common sticky wedding attire situations, along with suggestions about how to resolve them.

Problem No. One: Your wedding colors are pale pink and lilac and your bridesmaids are demanding black cocktail dresses. While it is always lovely when the bride is considerate of what her attendants would like to wear, the reality is that they need to fit with her vision of the wedding. The best you can do is choose a color that your bridesmaids can stand (perhaps a neutral like champagne). Perhaps the bride could also mollify her bridesmaids by giving them a lot of say in the style of the dress, if not the color. Ultimately, though, being a bridesmaid means wearing the dress of the bride’s choosing, so the bridesmaids need to grit their teeth and politely wear what the bride wants!

Problem No. Two: Your flamboyant mother-in-law always has to be the center of attention, even on your wedding day. She never got the memo that the mothers of the bride and groom should look pretty without upstaging the bride, and has decided to wear a fire engine red dress with a neckline cut down to her navel. The bride really cannot tell her mother-in-law what to wear, so the groom needs to be involved in this.  If the groom cannot or will not get his mom to wear something less flashy, there is nothing much to be done about it. Yes, it will drive you crazy that she sticks out like a sore thumb in the group wedding photos, but in the end, it will do nothing to detract from the joy of your wedding or marriage.

Problem No. Three: The bride and her mother cannot agree on a wedding gown…and mom is paying for it. This problem is incredibly common, and also incredibly frustrating. Sometimes another person, like a sister or aunt, can help to convince mom that the bridal gown which she thinks is all wrong is really perfect. The bride can also show a willingness to compromise by offering to let her mom pick out her veil and wedding jewelry. If none of that works, you either have to go back to the drawing board and look for a new gown or buy the one you really want with your own money.

People tend to feel very strongly about their clothing, even more so when it comes to formal attire. This is why so many sticky situations can crop up when planning a wedding. Hopefully, you now have the tools to manage any wedding attire dilemmas that come your way!

The Post-Wedding Brunch

As the wedding day has morphed into the wedding weekend, one event that has become quite popular is the post-wedding brunch. Although some brides may cringe at the idea of another event to organize and some guests feel like enough is enough already, personally I love the brunch the day after the wedding. It gives everyone a chance to visit a little more before heading out of town, and besides, who doesn’t love brunch? This is what you need to know about planning a post-wedding brunch.

First of all, the bride does not have to be the one to plan a day-after brunch. Her parents could host it, the groom’s parents could host, or even a grandparent could organize the brunch in honor of the newlyweds. Second of all, the post-wedding brunch does not need to be a fancy event at all. By far the easiest way to do it is to book a private dining room in the hotel where most of the guests are staying. Don’t worry about fancy flowers or custom linens; this is not the wedding, after all, just brunch. As long as it is a nice hotel (or restaurant, if you prefer), whatever they provide in the way of decorations will be absolutely fine.

The purpose of having another get-together the day after the wedding is to give everyone one more chance to see each other, which can be wonderful for families who are far-flung. One or two days just isn’t enough time if you only get the whole group together for weddings and holidays. The brunch serves one very other important role: it is always fun to gossip about a great party the next day! This is the perfect opportunity for everyone to rehash the excitement of the day before while it is still fresh in their minds. For the bride and groom, this is the time to get the real scoop on all the interesting things that happened at their wedding – so fun!

While the post-wedding brunch need not be formal, the newlyweds should still make an effort to look good. Match your attire to the setting. For a country inn, a cashmere sweater, tweed skirt, and pearl earrings is a polished brunch outfit. In the summer, a pretty sundress with a tin cup necklace and pearl earrings would be just right. Around the holidays, even daytime parties like brunches tend to be dressier, so step it up a notch with a beaded sweater set and a knee length velvet skirt or a silk wrap dress. After all, your post-wedding brunch is your first chance to make a great impression as newlyweds!

Wedding After-Party Ideas

If you can’t stand the thought of your wedding ending, why not keep the fun going into the wee hours of the morning? After the formal reception concludes, more and more couples are inviting their friends to keep celebrating with them in an after-party. Take a look at these great ideas for wedding after-parties.

The after-party should reflect your taste and also the tastes of your friends. For instance, if you and your friends love nature and being outside, this could be the inspiration for your post-reception celebration. After the reception officially ends, invite your friends to join you around a bonfire for singing, dancing, and even homemade s’mores. It is a fun way to kick back and relax with your close friends, especially if a lot of them will be coming in from out of town. Just be sure to note on the invitations that a bonfire will follow the reception and let guests know to bring a casual change of clothes so they can fully enjoy the experience.

Another really fun idea for a wedding after-party is a karaoke party. Hire a d.j. and bring in the microphones and other equipment to encourage everyone to get up on stage and belt out their favorite tunes. The conclusion of a wedding is a great time for a karaoke party, because most people will already have a few shots of “liquid courage” in them to help them release their inner diva. The bride should be sure to have a sassy party dress to change into, along with big sparkly Swarovski crystal earrings to really get into the party spirit.

If most of your out of town guests will be staying in the same hotel, that could be a convenient location for a party after the reception. It could be as informal as an announcement that the newlyweds will be heading to the bar at such and such hotel, and they would love to see their friends there. If you want to be a little more organized about it, see if the hotel has a private room in their lounge or restaurant. Another option is to rent a suite in the hotel and stock it with drinks and snacks for a fun after-party. Any of these options are very appealing when the wedding is done by the early evening and guests will be looking for something to do for the rest of the night. Keeping the party going sure beats staring at the walls in your hotel room!

Wherever you decide to host your wedding after-party, spread the word in advance by email or by word of mouth, or just make an announcement at the end of the reception. There is nothing like keeping a great time going on all night!