Quiz: How Should Bridesmaids Be Treated?

Every bride has bridesmaids, but not every bride has the same reputation amongst her bridal party. Some are called bridezilla behind their backs, while other brides are known as being gracious. Take this quiz to find out if you know how you should treat your bridesmaids.

1. The main purpose of bridesmaids is:

   a. to lend support to the bride and to help her celebrate a joyous occasion in her life

   b. to run errands, throw parties, and generally be at the bride’s beck and call for a year

   c. who knows?

2. True or false: bridesmaids are obligated to throw the bride a bridal shower and a bachelorette party.

3. The bride should show her appreciation for her attendants in the following way:

   a. by asking as little of them as possible

   b. giving them thoughtful bridesmaid gifts, such as jewelry or engraved silver items

   c. bridesmaid gifts? The honor of being in my wedding is all the gift any bridesmaid needs!

4. If one of my former bridesmaids asked me to be in her wedding, I would be:

   a. delighted! I can’t wait to help my friend as much as she helped me with my wedding.

   b. irritated; why should I spend all that time and money being in a wedding?

   c. terrified! Did she invite me just to get revenge for the way I acted when she was my bridesmaid?

Answers:

1.a. Bridesmaid should be there to help the bride with minor wedding planning as their schedules allow, but their main purpose is just to be there in friendship for the bride on her wedding day. Far too many brides forget that bridesmaids are not their indentured servants!

2.False. Bridesmaids are under no obligation to throw any parties for the bride. It is true that bridesmaids will often get together to plan a shower, but they certainly do not have to, and the bride should never tell them to give her a party.

3.b. Show your bridesmaids how much you appreciate them with thoughtful bridesmaid gifts! Items with lasting value like jewelry or picture frames tend to be among the most popular gift ideas. Although it is kind to ask little of your attendants, it is not enough of a gift. And no, being in your wedding is not such a high honor that a proper present becomes unnecessary.

4. a. Of course you should be happy to get to return the favor when a former bridesmaid comes to you! After all, she is probably relying on the experience of a friend who is already married to help her figure out how to plan her wedding. It is not so nice to be irritated by a friend’s attempt to honor your friendship by inviting you to be in her wedding. For those who chose c, if you were such a bridezilla that you fear retribution, well…turnabout is fair play!

Wedding Hair Advice

Every bride wants to look perfect right down to the last detail. One of the most important things to consider is the wedding hair. Getting fabulous hair on your wedding day starts long before the morning of the event, however. Learn how to get the perfect look with this helpful wedding hair advice.

There is an old custom that says when a woman becomes engaged she should begin growing out her hair. You know what? This is actually still great advice. The idea is that longer hair will allow you the most versatility for wedding hairstyles. Some of the popular braided buns and chic chignons require a fair amount of hair to work, so having long hair can prove to be an asset. Simple haircuts without a lot of layering are the easiest to put up.

Upon becoming engaged, an initial consultation with a great hairstylist is a really smart idea.  In the beginning, you should discuss your long range plans for your wedding hair. Early in the game is the best time to experiment with a new haircolor or to try out highlights for the first time. If your hair is usually permed or relaxed, discuss with your stylist deep conditioning options to keep it in tip-top shape as the wedding draws closer. No one wants to have frizzy or fried hair in their wedding pictures, after all!

As soon as you have selected your wedding gown, it is time to begin shopping for your bridal hair jewelry. The type of headpiece which you choose will have a major impact on the hairstyles which will work the best. If you have selected a set of hairpins, for instance, an updo will be a necessity to anchor them properly. You will want to bring your bridal hair jewelry to your wedding hair trials so that your stylist can plan around it.

A few final words of wedding hair advice…never make any drastic changes in the final months before your wedding. This is not the time to see how that cute little pixie crop suits you if you have always worn your hair long, nor is your wedding the best time to experiment with bold artificial haircolors. The best wedding hair looks natural, healthy, and timeless.

Gorgeous Wedding Hairstyles for Long Hair

If you have long hair, you are in luck! There are numerous great looking ways in which to wear your hair for your wedding day. To help you narrow down the options, check out these gorgeous wedding hairstyles for long hair.

The key with long hair is to select a style which will keep your tresses under control all day long. You also want to take your veil and bridal hair jewelry into consideration when meeting with your stylist for a hair trial. By pulling back at least the front of your hair, you will give your veil a secure place to anchor so that it does not simply slide down the back of your head as you glide down the aisle. The more elaborate your hairdo, the more options you will have for bridal hair jewelry, as you will be able to fasten any type of comb, hairpin, or headband somewhere into the hairstyle and know that it will not move around.

One of the top trends in wedding hair right now is asymmetry. Low twists are among the most fabulous asymmetrical wedding hairstyles for long hair this year. Have your hairstylist gather all of your hair near the nape of your neck. Let the pulled back part be smooth and tidy, which allows you to tease the twist part without getting that overall messy appearance. The gathered section of hair at the nape of the neck can either be arranged into a loose twisted bun or a more polished smooth spiral.

Soft curls can be created to make a romantic wedding hairstyles with long hair. Loosely pinned curls and waves are soft and feminine for an “undone” updo. Or pull back the front of your hair, and allow cascades of soft curls to flow down over your shoulders. One caution: this style can quickly turn into a frizzy mass on a humid day, so it is a bridal hairdo best reserved for indoor or cool weather weddings. The best bridal hairstyles complement the style of the gown, the texture of your hair, and the shape of your face. Work with your favorite hairstylist to design the hairdo which will make you feel absolutely beautiful and chic on your wedding day.

Private Moments for the Bride and Groom

In the hustle and bustle of a wedding, it is all too common for the newlyweds to spend very little time together alone. The whole wedding day passes in such a whirlwind that you may well get to the end of the reception and realize that you have not shared a quiet moment with your new spouse once all day. Don’t let that happen to you! Use these suggestions to plan some private moments that the bride and groom can share on the day of the wedding.

Are you superstitious? If not, the time before the wedding ceremony might be a good opportunity for the bride and groom to grab a few minutes alone before everything gets underway. For couples who have no qualms about seeing one another before the ceremony, this is an ideal time to share a quiet moment together. Plan to get together about twenty or thirty minutes before you have to be in place for the ceremony to just take a deep breath together and reflect on the journey which you are about to undertake together. Religious couples could use this moment to say a prayer together requesting blessings for their marriage. This would also be a very nice time for the groom to present his bride with a special piece of wedding jewelry, and for her to give him a nice piece of wedding jewelry, such as a watch with an inscription.

In the Jewish tradition, it is customary for the newlyweds to spend several moments alone together in a yichud (seclusion) room. This is an absolutely marvelous custom, as it allows the new spouses some time together to celebrate their union and to absorb what has just taken place. Having a pause between the public ceremony and public reception gives the newlyweds a rare quiet moment alone, away from the spotlight. This Jewish tradition is one that brides and grooms of any faith would be wise to borrow for their own wedding.

Make a pledge to one another to grab a few moments alone during the rest of your wedding reception. Take a brief stroll together outside or hide up in a balcony for a few minutes to watch your guests. The idea is not to avoid your guests, but just to have a few moments of quiet together to soak it all up. The intimate moments that the bride and groom share can end up being among the most meaningful parts of the entire wedding day.

Non-Traditional Bridal Showers

The traditional bridal shower is a timeless wedding custom. Yet, it is certainly not the only way that a bride and her bridesmaids can spend quality time together. When the bride does not want a shower or a classic bridal shower just does not seem to fit the situation, there are plenty of other great options. These are some fun ideas for non-traditional bridal showers.

A spa retreat is a great alternative gathering. All of the ladies involved in the wedding can spend an afternoon together at a fancy day spa getting pampered. Pedicures with cocktails, lots of chit chat, and good times are on the agenda. This can be a wonderful way for the bridal party to relax and unwind before the wedding. If gifts will be given, they can be presented to the bride at the end of the pampering.  By the way, brides, a spa day can also be a great time for you to give your bridesmaid gifts to your attendants, especially if it is an event for only the members of the wedding party.

A night out in the big city can be a really fun gathering instead of a bridal shower. This would be particularly nice for a second time bride, for whom her friends want to do something special that does not involve gifts. Take the bride out to a dinner in a trendy restaurant, and follow it up with either tickets to the hottest play in town or a night of hitting the dance clubs, depending on which she would enjoy more. For out of towners, think about renting a few hotel rooms to share and staying the night so you can have a leisurely brunch and do some shopping the next day.

Non-traditional bridal showers can also be tailored to the bride’s hobbies or interests. Perhaps the bride loves quilting. Why not get everyone together for a fun old-fashioned quilting bee? Each person can work on one square at the party, and at the end the bride gets to keep all of the squares to stitch into a one-of-a-kind keepsake quilt. The quilt would be a marvelous alternative to regular shower gifts, especially for the bride who already has all of the basic household goods. A special event, tailored to her interests, is a wonderful way to show the bride how much everyone cares for her.

What Happens at a Rehearsal Dinner?

Lots of terms get thrown around during the wedding planning process, but if you are a young bride, you may not have any first hand experience with many of them. People often wonder what the purpose is behind a rehearsal dinner, how to plan one, and what really goes on there. This is an overview of the whole rehearsal dinner process.

First the reason behind the rehearsal dinner: it is a small dinner party that gives the bride’s and groom’s families a chance to get to know one another in an informal setting before the wedding itself. With that purpose in mind, you should definitely plan to invite parents, siblings, and grandparents from both sides. The wedding party is also always on the guest list, and some brides will choose that opportunity to present her attendants with their bridesmaid and flower girl gifts. Frequently, the more extended members of the couple’s families will also be included in the wedding eve party, such as aunts, uncles, and cousins. These days, it is not uncommon to also invite out-of-town guests, with the result that there are almost as many guests at the rehearsal dinner as the wedding reception.

One of the main events of a rehearsal dinner is the speeches. As the party is most often hosted by the groom’s family, it is traditional for the groom’s father to give some sort of toast. It does not need to be anything long, it is mostly a chance to welcome everyone, and to thank the out-of-town guests for making the trip. The groom’s father will conclude his toast by saying a few kind words about the bride and groom and toasting to their future happiness.

Beyond that, the wedding eve dinner is essentially a party like any other. Guests eat, drink, and mingle. They often end early so that everyone will be well rested for the wedding the next day. This has led to a custom where the younger guests often have an after-party at a nightclub, bar, or home after dinner. Just so long as everyone is rested and raring to go the next day, this can be a fun way for the younger guests to get to know one another, which is after all, one of the purposes of a rehearsal dinner.

Electronic Wedding Etiquette

It seems like every day one hears of new ways in which electronic communications are being used in appalling ways related to weddings. As technology evolves, etiquette comes along for the ride to ensure that brides and grooms know how to graciously comport themselves in any situation. This is the latest electronic wedding etiquette, including Facebook, texting, wedding websites, and email.

Did you hear the one about the groom who stopped in the middle of his wedding ceremony to update his status on Facebook to “married”? Either he has the world’s least trusting bride or he went way too far. A marriage ceremony is a solemn and momentous occasion, certainly not one which should be interrupted by something so trivial. The worst part is that once word of something like that gets out on the Internet, other people will also decide to give it a go, even if it is only done in jest.

It should really go without saying that guests should turn off their cell phones for the duration of a wedding ceremony (as well as for funerals). Times being what they are, it must also be stated that the groom should turn off his cell phone, and that the bride should not be carrying one at all, even if she has one of those wedding gowns with pockets. No matter how many crystals you put on it, a cell phone cannot count as wedding jewelry! Save the ringing for the church bells, please.

Wedding websites can be a fantastic way to share information about your upcoming nuptials with your guests. They can, however, get a bride and groom into some trouble. For one thing, bridal registry information, while an acceptable item to include on a wedding website, should not be the main feature. Wedding invitations and thank you notes should never be sent by e-mail. This is one time when the old way of doing things is still the best way, even for the most modern of couples.

Where to Meet a Mate

All humans crave companionship. Especially as people approach certain milestones, like turning 30, they may start looking for a person with whom they can settle down and build a life. This can be particularly stressful for women, as they watch their friends get to have the fun of being brides, picking out a bridal gown and jewelry, flowers, etc. Many a woman, no matter how independent and successful she may be, has watched all her friends go down the aisle and wondered when she will the one picking out bridal jewelry and bouquets.

So how does a man or woman set about finding a person with whom they can settle down? Personal introductions are still a great way. There are certain types of establishments of which it is said that “the house makes the introduction”. What that means is that the people that you meet there are not exactly complete strangers, more like friends that you have not met yet. Churches and schools are the most common of these places.

Believe it or not in the era of Internet dating, there are still old-fashioned matchmakers out there. I once met one at a party, and she had a very high success rate of putting together couples who would eventually get married. The nice thing about a matchmaker is that, unlike a dating service, she spends time will all of her clients individually; since she gets to know them personally, she is much more able to match up compatible people than a computer. Matchmakers often specialize in certain religious or ethnic groups; the one I met worked exclusively within the Jewish community.

Then there is the Internet. Many people have certainly found their future husbands or wives through an online dating service like eHarmony or Match.com. There is no longer the stigma that used to be attached to finding a spouse this way. Online dating sites, however, have some definite disadvantages to them, including potential safety concerns. Exercise caution before meeting anyone you meet on the Internet in person.

Finally, keep your eyes and heart open to other possibilities. If you are having a hard time meeting people, think about signing up for an interesting class or volunteering. You may meet that special person, and even if you do not, at least you will be enriching your life.

Uninvited Wedding Guests

Showing up to a wedding without an invitation is a serious social faux pas. It would be like wearing a necklace your ex-boyfriend gave you for your wedding instead of your fiance’s gift of pearl bridal jewelry. Nonetheless, wedding crashers are a real problem, and not just in the movies. It can be a difficult issue for the newlyweds to resolve on the spot at the reception, which is why it is wise to have a plan in place beforehand should uninvited guests arrive.

The most likely type of uninvited wedding guest is not so much a true wedding crasher (unless you happen to be a celebrity), but a date brought along by one of the official guests. This actually makes the issue a bit more delicate, since presumably the person to whom you did extend an invite is someone that you care about. That means that unceremoniously chucking the intruder into the street by his shirt collar is pretty much out of the question.

If you are having a buffet dinner and there is room for an extra guest, the most gracious thing to do is nothing.  Simply allow the uninvited guest to have dinner along with everyone else and do not give it another thought. In the case of a buffet or station reception, it really won’t cost you anything more than maybe a couple of drinks. But if you do not have an extra dinner or a place to put the uninvited guest, by all means someone should inform the person that they cannot accommodate an extra guest for dinner. To soften the blow, you may invite them to join everyone else for dancing after the meal.

Much more rarely, there will be true wedding crashers, people who you most definitely do not want to have at your wedding. Typical candidates are ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, estranged relatives, and maybe a crazy former roommate. There is no need to allow these people to intrude on your wedding day. The father of the bride or the best man is perfectly in the right if he lets the wedding crasher know that his or her presence is not welcome and that they must leave. Rarely will this sort of problem arise at a wedding, but at least if it does, you will be prepared to handle it so smoothly that none of the invited guests will even know that anything is happening.

David’s Bridal or Local Bridal Salon?

With brides looking for ways to have a beautiful wedding on a budget, more of them are considering shopping at discount retailers like David’s Bridal instead of their local bridal salon. After all, the idea of getting your wedding gown for only $99 sounds pretty good! But of course, there are advantages and disadvantages to most things in life; to help you sort it all out, here is what you need to know about the differences between shopping at a bridal warehouse versus a smaller bridal salon.

Certainly the number one reason to shop at a place like David’s Bridal is price. There is no doubt that they will have some of the lowest prices in town. However, that is not to say that you will get the best value for your money. They are not selling top quality gowns like you would find in a local bridal shop. When shopping at a wedding warehouse store, you are not getting the same gown for less, you are getting a totally different type of dress. This may be just fine for some brides, but for others it will not be.

Of course, there is one advantage to mass produced gowns, which is that there will be a full size range available in the store. Plus size brides in particular appreciate being able to try on the wedding gowns in their own size. Designer bridal salons only carry one sample size in each style, and it can require a lot of imagination to picture how the gown would look when it does not come close to fitting you. However, with that said, all made to order gowns can be ordered in every size, and a good consultant will know which gowns will look best when they fit properly.

One of the intangibles is the level of service that you will get at a small local salon as compared to a mass merchandiser. At a discount bridal warehouse, you may be able to get help, but many brides end up in a self service situation, which can be a very challenging way to shop for a bridal gown. In the end, it all comes down to what you want in terms of a wedding gown and a gown shopping experience. If you want to be pampered, and have a personal consultant who will help you with everything from picking out your gown to suggesting styles of bridesmaid jewelry gifts, a bridal salon is for you. Brides who are perfectly comfortable picking out their own gowns may be happy with a bridal warehouse which has a large number of dresses in stock. And then there is the matter of finding the right balance between quality and budget, which is a decision that each bride has to make for herself.