Are You a Daring Bride?

Once upon a time, brides were expected to look like demure little flowers…no matter what they were really like on the inside. In these days of extreme personalization, many of the traditional taboos have loosened or flown out the window altogether. Brides who want to make a splash can do so in any number of dramatic (and sometimes even shocking) ways. The question is…are you a daring bride?

Wedding fashion, bridal jewelry, and accessories are one of the areas which offer the most opportunity to really make a bold statement. Fashion forward brides can choose from all black wedding gowns, courtesy of Vera Wang, sheer bodices that cover only the bare essentials (we have Pnina Tornai to thank for that), miniskirts, outrageous feathery skirts, and pretty much anything else you can imagine. Brides who are not quite that daring can use their accessories to break with wedding conventions. They can wear opera length black gloves, ropes of pearl bridal jewelry layered over the wedding gown, or eschew a traditional veil in favor of a madcap fascinator. Still too non-traditional for your taste? Even the most conservative bride can take a chance on a fun pair of shoes like hot pink silk pumps or a pair of cowboy boots.

Wedding receptions these days have become spectacles, with some couples feeling like non-stop entertainment is a must. If you really want to push the envelope, do what some brides have done and hire a group of Brazilian dancers to shake their…costumes during the cocktail hour. Just be aware that the skimpy attire of the entertainers will raise more than a few eyebrows. Of course for some couples, that is the point! Other daring performances couples have featured at their receptions include go-go dancers (in cages, no less), modern art dancers, and sword eaters. While all of these things will certainly make your wedding unforgettable, so would great food, terrific music, and an open bar.

Another way that a bride can be daring is to have a non-traditional wedding ceremony. One of the most exciting ideas is to have a surprise wedding. Your guests think they are being invited to a birthday or cocktail party, but surprise! – it’s really your wedding. Just as they try to pick their jaws off the ground from the shock of it, the bride can glide down the aisle in a dramatic wedding gown fit for such a bold move. What a fun way to have a wedding that no one will ever forget. Just be sure to tell your mom in advance or she might disown you!

Be a Bridesmaid for Less!

The bridesmaid dress is always an issue. They are generally very expensive, and rarely does the bride choose a dress you would actually ever wear again. There are a few ways to improve the situation. If the bride has expensive taste, you can look into renting designer dresses for the wedding. There are a few websites that offer this service, and it can be a fantastic option for weddings, since you pay a small fraction of the original price of the dress. This can be a great alternative to purchasing a dress that will be banished to the back of your closest for all eternity. Add some gorgeous bridesmaid jewelry, and you will be good to go!

If a designer gown rental service does not work for your group, propose to the bride that you shop for bridesmaid dresses at stores that have special occasion collections, rather than traditional bridal salons. When you can buy from a major chain, you will have a good range of size options (many stores offer the same dress in petites, misses, and womens’ sizes), which means fewer expensive alterations. Better yet, if you time it well, you might be able to take advantage of sales and promotions to get deep discounts on the dresses. Best of all, a classic cocktail dress is a style you will be more likely to wear again than a traditional bridesmaid dress.

It is often travel and accommodations that push the cost of being a bridesmaid so high. With a little effort, you may be able to keep these expenses under control. Explore different ways of getting to the wedding, such as flying at off hours or driving with a friend to split the cost of fuel. Ask the bride if she has a friend who would be able to host you for the weekend of the wedding, rather than paying for a hotel room. If you will be traveling to attend her bridal shower, these same tips apply.

Finally, get creative when it comes to buying the wedding gift. Instead of buying a crystal vase from the registry, shop around for a unique and beautiful one from a vintage or thrift store.  By the time you have saved on your bridesmaid dress and accessories, travel, and gifts, you might find that being a bridesmaid does not have to cost an arm and a leg after all!

Hot Trends In Wedding Shoes

Wedding shoes are anything but basic white pumps these days. In fact, one of the hottest trends in bridal footwear is to wear a color other than white. Blue is one of the most popular options, as it makes a great “something blue” for the bride. Tiffany blue is sweet for the bride who wants a subtle hint of color, while a rich cobalt hue is fabulous for fall and winter. Jewel tones in general are on the rise for wedding shoes this fall, so feel free to look at opulent shades of plum, cranberry, and emerald. It would be spectacular to order custom bridal jewelry made with crystals in the same hue.

Sparkle is always popular for brides, from the bridal jewelry in their hair right down to the tips of their toes. A crystal buckle or beaded strap on a pair of sandals is ideal for the bride who wants just a hint of sparkle. But the stronger trend right now is to fully embrace all out sparkle, in the form of a glitter covered evening shoe. Choose from metallic silver, platinum, or gold in a classic high heel pump style. The best part about choosing these is that you will definitely get to wear them many times again. Just imagine how awesome your glittering pumps will look with your favorite little black dress for your next cocktail party.

If sparkle is not really your thing, you may well enjoy another hot accessory trend these days: lace. Especially chic is a funky shoe dressed up with feminine lace, such as a lace bootie. It’s a fun choice for the fashionista bride who wants to walk the line between classic and trendy. Lace over a colored shoe is another great look for a wedding. Black lace over a pale ballerina pink flat would be absolutely charming with a tulle or organza bridal gown. All black lace is a great option for bridesmaids who want to wear black shoes, as it makes them look more romantic.

All sorts of interesting details are appearing on bridal shoes this season. Add style to your bridal ensemble by wearing something unique, such as a fanciful row of ruffles down the back of a pump, pleats on the toe, a charming rosette, or a big splashy bow on the side. As for the shape of the shoe itself, high heels are definitely in right now. Many of the most striking styles feature a low platform under the toe. Designs with open sections such as peep toes, slingbacks, or D’orsay pumps (my personal favorite) are particularly in vogue.

Gift Grabby Brides and Grooms

There are many things that a bride or groom can do which will come across as looking greedy, even if that is not their intention. Anything that shifts focus away from the point of a wedding towards getting presents runs this risk. Some things are fine in moderation, but can cross the line if not done in good taste. The perfect example of this is the bridal shower. Having a small bridal shower with the bride’s bridesmaids, immediate family, and best friends is a perfectly fine wedding tradition, even though it is all about giving presents.

Where it becomes not-so-fine is when the bride starts demanding that people throw showers for her. Another problem with showers is when there are an excessive number of parties. One or two events (with different guests) is fine, but three, four, or five bridal showers is ridiculous. Previously married brides having bridal showers can also look gift grabby, as will any bride who is gauche enough to host her own shower. Something else that definitely crosses the line is a shower by mail, when there is no actual party, and the “guests” are expected to mail in presents. That is little more than social blackmail to get as many presents as possible.

Making any mention of gifts on the wedding invitation is another faux pas that can make you look gift grabby, even if you really are not. It has become more common in recent years to include bridal registry information on the invitations, but that has never been polite, and it still isn’t. It makes it appear too much like a gift is the price of admission to the event. Worse yet is to request “cash gifts only” on an invitation. It is truly offensive to most people, and they will suspect you of trying to get them to finance your wedding. Guests want to be able to choose a wedding gift, not pay for their reception dinner, the limo, or the bride’s wedding jewelry!

Anytime you are making it clear that you expect your wedding guests to give you cash, you are likely to cause offense. This is why so many people deem the money dance at the reception to be in poor taste. The couple can then put that money towards their honeymoon, paying for the wedding, or whatever. While the money dance is still relatively common in certain communities, it is a dying custom. There is something ridiculous about having a wedding that costs thousands of dollars and then demanding cash from your friends and family. Just have the wedding you can afford, and people will give you money if they want to.

Top Wedding Day Beauty Questions Answered

What Can I Do With Thin Hair? There are many beautiful wedding hairstyles out there, but it seems like most of the models have thick, lustrous hair that the average woman can only dream of. If you have the money, getting professional hair extensions is the best way to add fullness to your mane. If you intend to work only with the hair you already have, your stylist can add fullness by backcombing hair at the roots and curling it with a large barrel curling iron before pinning it into an updo (the actual hairstyle does not need to look curly, by the way). Opt for a headpiece which will not slip out of thin hair, such as a headband.

Can I Tell My Bridesmaids How To Do Their Hair And Makeup? In a word, no. Your bridesmaids are grown women, and should be trusted to do their hair and makeup in a tasteful and appropriate manner. Besides, the days of cookie cutter attendants are over; these days, they show their personal style with different dresses, unique bridesmaid jewelry, and eclectic bouquets. However, it would be okay for the bride to gently nudge her ‘maids into the desired direction. For instance, you could request formal hairstyles or glamorous makeup, but nothing so specific as an updo or smoky eyes and red lipstick. If you would like to give your bridesmaids a slightly more cohesive look, give them a pretty jeweled comb to wear that complements their unique crystal bridesmaid jewelry. Then let each one decide how to style her hair in the fashion that looks prettiest on her.

How Can I Cover A Tattoo? Oops – did you get a little butterfly on your shoulder during spring break in Florida while you were in college? Don’t worry – no one has to see it if you don’t want them too, even if you are wearing a strapless gown. There are a number of excellent products available which are specifically designed to cover tattoos. They are a much heavier makeup than regular concealer, and are usually available in custom blended shades. When applied properly, the makeup should not smear or get on your wedding dress. If you only care about covering your tattoo for the wedding ceremony, the simplest option is to wear a shrug over your dress.

What Do I Do About A Pimple? The stress of planning a wedding can unfortunately cause a woman to break out, just when she wants to look her best.  Use either a benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid blemish fighter. Look for a non-drying formula designed for adult skin. Cool compresses can help to diminish the size of the pimple, and concealer can cover the redness. If you wake up the day before your ceremony with a whopping zit on your forehead, the best cure of all is to run straight to the dermatologist for a cortisone injection, which will start to shrink the blemish almost immediately so you can look picture perfect for your wedding.

Types of Bridal Showers

Games Shower. For some people, a bridal shower means lots of silly games. Think making a wedding dress out of toilet paper, competing on a quiz about who knows the bride the best, a kitchen utensil word scrambles. This style of wedding shower is also for ladies only, and it tends to work best when there is a fairly large group so that there is enough competition for the games. Traditional brides might really enjoy this type of shower, while modern brides often find it to be hopelessly outdated. Choose a games style of bridal shower only if you think the bride will enjoy it.

Lingerie Shower. Definitely a ladies only affair! While this is a traditional kind of bridal shower, not every bride-to-be will be comfortable opening intimate presents in front of a group. It is best to get the okay from the guest of honor before planning a lingerie shower. The type of shower should be noted on the invitation so that guests know what kind of gift to purchase. Always include a gift receipt in case the items need to be exchanged for a different size. While the bride’s girlfriends might want to get her something sizzling for the honeymoon, the mothers of the bride and groom would do well to stick with pretty nightgowns that will not make the bride die of embarrassment on the spot. (Besides, knowing that his mom picked out that hot little number will pretty much kill the mood for the groom!)

Jack and Jill Shower. This style of co-ed wedding shower has become more popular in recent years. Also called a stag and doe party, the groom is present at this one, as are male guests like brothers, groomsmen, and fathers of the bride and groom. The presents for a Jack and Jill shower should not be personal gifts for the brides like the lingerie or gifts of bridal jewelry that would be right for other kinds of showers. Rather they should be geared towards both the bride and groom. Items like cool clocks, barware, and gourmet food baskets are ideal for a co-ed shower. Speaking of food, the light fare served at a classic shower will not suffice for a party with guys present, so serve up some heartier snacks.

Spa Shower. Sometimes the best kind of shower is one that combines gifts with relaxation and pampering. This is where the party at a day spa comes in. All the ladies in the bride’s life gather at a local spa for a round of pedicures while sipping mimosas and opening gifts. Little luxury items like a monogrammed silver jewelry box are particularly suitable for a spa shower, although traditional shower presents like toasters or pitchers would also be perfectly fine. Throw a spa shower for the bride who loves to be pampered. When you match the style of party to the personality of the bride-to-be, it is guaranteed to be a fantastic event.

White Lies Every Bride Tells

What a Beautiful Handmade Ashtray! Every couple is bound to receive a wedding gift or two that they do not like, can’t use, or that is just plain bizarre. A lumpy handmade ceramic ashtray for the non-smoking fitness nuts would definitely fall into all three categories! Yet, you don’t want to hurt the feelings of the person who gave you the present, so it is best to fake it. Pretend, just for the moment, that it is the best gift you have ever received. Once you have sent a gracious thank you note, feel free to put the oddity in your next yard sale.

We’d Love for Your New Boyfriend (or Cousin or Kids) to Come. Somehow, there is always at least one wedding guest who does not seem to realize that only the people whose names are on the invitations are invited to the reception. Never mind that the caterer charges $150 a head or that it is supposed to be an intimate wedding for close family and friends only. Invariably, someone will call the bride three days before the wedding and ask to bring along their cousin who is in town for the weekend, the great new man they just started dating, or their kids “because they have never been to a wedding before”. While a gracious bride might indeed say yes for the sake of accommodating her invited guest, rest assured that she does not really want her wedding populated by random people. A polite guest will realize this and not put the bride on the spot.

I Don’t Mind That My Mother-in-Law Is Wearing White. Oh, what to do about the mother-in-law who decides to wear a white dress and pearl wedding jewelry to her son’s wedding? Well, if you are a wise bride, you will tell the little white lie above. Of course, only the bride should show up in a white gown and elegant pearl wedding jewelry, but making a fuss about what her mother-in-law is wearing will get the bride nowhere. The fact is that no one will think it is appropriate for the groom’s mom to wear white; the bride does not need to say a word, because all of the guests will see the mother of the groom’s fashion choice for the petty slight that it is. If the bride remains silent, she will definitely come out looking the better of the two.

We Are Having a Small Wedding. This is the classic line that brides use to get out of inviting extra people to their wedding. The beauty of it is that “small” can mean anything the bride and groom want it to mean. Small can mean twenty people in their living room or one hundred guests on a private yacht. All it really means is that the wedding is too small to invite that one particular individual. This is probably one of the most commonly used bridal white lies, and one of the most effective.

While no one advocates lying, there are certainly instances where telling a white lie is more polite and tactful than brutal honesty!

How to Survive a Bachelor Party

Tip number one is to hold the bachelor party at least a couple of weeks before the wedding day. Why do you think most brides now schedule a rehearsal dinner or welcome party on the wedding eve? It’s to keep the groom and his groomsmen too busy to get into trouble, of course. One couple I know violated this rule, and when the groom stumbled to the altar with bloodshot eyes smelling of the whiskey he and the guys had the night before, the bride very nearly called off the wedding on the spot!

Another important tip for surviving the bachelor party is to be honest with the bride about what is taking place. This is not to say that she wants to hear all the gory details, but if you are doing something that you need to lie about, you have no business doing it in the first place! Besides, sooner or later, she is bound to find out if you went to a strip club instead of to a restaurant. When you are upfront about the general activities which are planned for the bachelor party, the bride will not worry about what you are hiding and why.

Some guys have moved away from the idea that a bachelor party has to be rowdy or debauched. This is especially true for older grooms, who may be less interested in getting their kicks one last time, and who have more sophisticated tastes. There is no rule that the only place to have a bachelor party is a bar or a strip club. Parties in upscale restaurants are very popular these days. Think fine brandy instead of tequila shooters.  While everyone is gathered, the groom might want to give the groomsmen gifts to his attendants.

You know that old saying “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”? That might well be a good reason to avoid going to Las Vegas for your bachelor weekend!  After all, the point of a bachelor party is to enjoy some “guy time”, not wreck the future of your marriage.

How to Care for Your Bridal Gown After the Wedding

The very first step in caring for your wedding gown is to have it professionally dry cleaned. It is best to do this as soon after the wedding as is practical. Do your research on dry cleaners before the wedding. Many regular cleaners do not know how to properly clean and press a bridal gown. Look for a dry cleaner who specializes in bridal and formal wear. That goes double if your gown has beading, buttons, lace, or is made of silk. Depending on where you live, you may well have to ship your gown off to a specialist to get this service, but it is worth it to know that your precious gown is in good hands.

Once your gown is clean, it is time to pack it away. Leaving the gown hanging up is not the best long term solution, as the weight of the fabric will invariably cause the dress to stretch out. A flat box is the proper way to store a bridal gown. And not just any box will do; it should be an archival acid free box especially designed for long-term garment preservation and storage. Your dry cleaner or bridal shop may offer an archival boxing service, or you may obtain the supplies from an archival catalog geared towards museum preservationists. The gown should be placed over an acid free bust form to maintain the shape of the bodice, and then loosely folded with acid free tissue between the folds and wrapped around the dress.

Never seal the box or use plastic, as this can cause dry rot and fabric deterioration. Take your wedding gown out of the box to refold it (and to admire it, of course!) annually. It is ideal to wear a pair of white cotton gloves to handle the gown so that the natural oils in your hands do not get on the fabric of your clean bridal gown. Brides often wonder if they should store their bridal jewelry, veil, headpiece, and shoes in the same box as their gown. If you wish to store your veil in the box, take extra care to wrap the metal comb of the veil with tissue and to place it away from the gown; otherwise the metal comb can make rust marks on your dress.

Shoes are too dirty to store in the same box as your pristine gown, and your bridal jewelry is too precious to pack away and not use. The best advice is to dye the shoes black if possible and to wear your bridal jewelry as often as you can. That way you will get the best use out of those special wedding accessories. Then slide the box with your carefully packaged bridal gown flat under a bed (better than a hot attic or a damp basement), and rest assured that your beautiful wedding gown will be preserved for your future daughter to wear one day.

Great Boutonierres for Grooms and Other Guys

The boutonierre is often the only piece of “flair” that the groom and groomsmen get to wear at a wedding. There are many fantastic options for boutonierres which are interesting and unique, which go beyond the standard rose or carnation in the lapel. These are some great boutonierres for groomsmen and other guys.

Some of the most wonderful boutonierres are those which tie in with the theme of the wedding. Let’s say that you were having a nautical wedding, and gave silver sailboat cufflinks as the groomsmen gifts – why not design boutonierres with a nautical theme as well? Tiny little sailboat “picks” can be used as the basis for a nautical lapel decoration. Or simply use a rope knot (tied in a sailor’s knot of course) as the boutonierre. Sometimes the simplest ideas can be the most intriguing.

Boutonierres which have personal meaning to the groom are always a great idea. After all, beyond picking the groomsmen gifts and tasting wedding cakes, many grooms do not get to put their personal imprint on the wedding. So if your groom’s ancestors hail from Scotland, order a lapel decoration created from thistles tied up with a bit of tartan ribbon. Or treat your Tennessee groom to a Vols orange flower, even if your wedding colors are blue and white. It would be a fun surprise, and a terrific way to show your groom that you are really thinking of what is important to him.

Seasonal elements are always nice for boutonierres. A holiday wedding would be a great time to design a lapel accent made from a sprig of holly, a small pine spray, and a red velvet ribbon. A pinecone boutonierre would be an excellent choice for an autumn wedding. Add a cluster of red or orange hypericum berries for a dash of color. For a summer ceremony, create a lapel ornament around a sea shell wired onto a stem. These seasonal accents will make the boutonierres very special.