Should You Wear Your Mother’s Wedding Gown?

When you become engaged, don’t be surprised to see your mom pulling a big box down from the attic. Inside that box is her wedding gown, saved all these years in the hopes that her daughter would one day wear it down the aisle. Some brides have always shared that same dream since childhood, while for others, nothing could be less appealing than wearing their mom’s gown. These are some things to consider while trying to decide if you should wear your mother’s wedding gown.

The style of your mother’s gown may well be the first thing that gets considered. However, do not put too much stock into the current version of the bridal gown. If your mom is willing and you can find someone who specializes in vintage restoration, an antique gown can often be remade to suit the taste of the next generation of bride. A good quality gown may pass through several generations, with each bride adapting it slightly to fit the style of her era.  Updated accessories like a beaded veil and beautiful bridal jewelry can also help to give a vintage gown a fresh new look. Of course, if your mom cannot bear to see her gown changed and you cannot bear to wear it as is, then it may be time to start shopping for a new bridal gown.

Most brides today are larger than their mothers. They are stronger, more muscular, and taller, which can make the mom’s old gown appear impossibly small. Happily, it is the rare gown which cannot be sized up at least a few inches to accommodate a modern frame. So if you are at all interested in wearing your mother’s wedding dress, it is worth taking it to a vintage specialist to see what the possibilities may be. Brides should be aware that if extensive resizing is needed, at some point restoring the family gown might get almost as expensive as purchasing a new dress.

One more factor to take into consideration is the wishes of both the bride and her mom. If it would mean the world to the mother of the bride to see her daughter wear her bridal gown, and she is willing to allow it to be refashioned to suit her daughter’s figure and taste, the bride should definitely think about wearing it. On the other hand, the daughter might feel strongly about getting a brand new gown. In the end, the bride has to feel good about whatever gown she wears on her wedding day, whether it is a family heirloom or a brand new wedding dress.

Questions to Ask Your Bridal Salon

When you find your dream wedding gown, it can be very easy to get swept away by the excitement and emotion of the moment (as well you should be!). But a bridal gown is also a big expense, and a lot rides on getting all of the details right. Before you leave the store on the day you order your wedding gown, be sure to ask these important questions of the bridal salon staff…

One: What is the deposit, what is the balance, and when is it due? A 50% deposit is customary at most bridal salons. This is basically to cover the wholesale cost of the gown, especially for those rare cases when the bride does not come to pick it up. If ordered early enough, your wedding gown might arrive at the bridal salon months before your wedding, but the balance might still need to be paid within a couple weeks of its arrival. Also be sure to find out if alterations will incur an additional fee.

Two: What if you change your mind on the gown or cancel the wedding? At many bridal salons, orders cannot be canceled once they have been sent in to the designer of your gown, because the designer probably does not accept cancellations. So even if you get cold feet the next day, it may be too late to pick a different style. Also be aware that deposits are usually non-refundable (no store wants to get stuck with your custom ordered gown!), so in the unlikely event that the wedding is called off, the bride will have to pay the balance on her dress and take it home, or forfeit the deposit and the store keeps the dress.

Three: Is it possible to try on all of the accessories at the final fitting? Most salons allow plenty of time at the final gown fitting for you to try on your veil, headpiece, bridal jewelry, and any other accessories with your gown. It is a really good idea to take advantage of the opportunity, in case you discover that the bridal jewelry needs to be adjusted to suit the neckline of your gown or that your gloves are the wrong shade of white. Better to find out at a gown fitting than on the day of your wedding when everything should be perfect!

Good Luck for Weddings

Weddings are joyous occasions, full of the promise of starting a wonderful new life together. Why not increase your chances for future happiness by including some traditional symbols of good luck in your special day? These are some of the things said to bring good luck for weddings.

The best known “good luck package” is the something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Most every bride knows this expression, but did you know the specific ways in which each item is intended to grant you good fortune? The old item represents your ties to your family and the past, and shows that even as you move towards a new life, your family will still be there to love and support you. The new, of course, represents the newlyweds’ new union and life together, and is most often the wedding gown or bridal jewelry.

Something borrowed can be any item that the bride can wear or carry, such as a friend’s veil or a piece of her mother’s bridal jewelry. What many people do not realize is that the borrowed item should ideally come from a happily married woman, the idea being that the bride is borrowing some of her wedding bliss. The color blue has symbolized fidelity and faithfulness since ancient times, making its purpose in the good luck package obvious. It might be even luckier if the groom wore some blue too!

Brides with Chinese heritage will want to bring some red into their weddings, as it is the good luck color in China. Of course, the double happiness symbol is a natural element to include in a wedding. Meaning “joy and happiness”, the symbol is one of the most powerful good luck charms. Feature it throughout the wedding, on the cake, the invitations, even on the bridal gown. There is no such thing as too much good luck on your wedding day!

Wedding Reception Basics

Just beginning the wedding planning process? This is the perfect time to learn all about organizing your wedding reception which follows the ceremony. Whether it is a large party or an intimate event, most wedding receptions will include these same basic elements.

Decorations: Decorations include centerpieces and other floral arrangements, candles, and tablecloths. If your wedding will be more formal or grand, you may well have additional types of adornments. These could include rented crystal chandeliers for a bride who loves the sparkle of crystal bridal jewelry and wants to bring that same kind of sparkle to her venue. Other types of decorations could be ice sculptures, fabric to drape ceilings or walls, and custom lighting.

Music: Virtually every wedding reception will feature some sort of musical accompaniment. This could range from a full orchestra, to a d.j., to an ipod, depending on your taste and the formality of your event. Even for short or small receptions which will not include dancing, it is nice to use background music to create ambiance. It could be as simple as recorded music played over the venue’s sound system, or you could splurge on a string quartet or harpist to play during dinner.

Food: What would a party be without food? At the very minimum, the hosts should treat their guests to cake and punch, although most weddings feature much more lavish spreads. Typically, the reception will kick off with a cocktail hour, during which assorted appetizers and drinks will be served, followed by a full dinner. At fancy weddings, there may also be a “Viennese hour” or dessert bar, and almost every reception will have some form of wedding cake.

Other: This category could include anything you need to rent to furnish your party, such as a tent, tables, chairs, and place settings, if not provided by the venue. It would also include wedding favors, place cards and escort cards, and the guest book. These details can range from extremely important (such as tables) to elements which are customary, but not mandatory, such as the guest book. A lot of it will depend on the reception venue and the style of your wedding.

Wedding Gowns: Finding “The One”

Shopping for a bridal gown can bring up so many emotions, running from elation (“I am getting married”) to excitement (what could be more gorgeous than a wedding gown) to despair (“What if I don’t find my dream dress?”) to shock (“This dress costs how much?!”). Without a doubt, the pressure to find the perfect wedding dress can feel immense, especially for brides who are working with a short time frame. These are some great tips to help you find the wedding gown that is “the one” with a minimum of stress and a maximum of fun.

First of all, there is the question of cost. It will do you no good to fall in love with a $20,000 wedding gown when your budget is $2000. On the other hand, it helps to have an understanding of what is a reasonable price range for the style of wedding gown that interests you before you begin shopping to avoid any nasty sticker shock in the bridal salon. That way you can adjust your wedding budget accordingly and avoid disappointment.

A lot of brides wonder how they will feel when they find “the one”. If you do not burst into tears of joy the moment you put on a wedding gown, could it still be the right one for you? Absolutely! Absent the flood of tears, what should you expect? Well, you should definitely feel gorgeous, like you have dropped ten pounds instantly, and like you can’t wipe the smile off your face. A very good clue is that you do not want to take the dress off. If you have been standing in front of the mirror in the store for an hour admiring the gown and trying on all sorts of veils, headpieces, and bridal jewelry, the chances are you have found your gown.

Another great tip when it comes to finding the perfect wedding gown is to know yourself. You should definitely be open to styles that your bridal consultant wants to show you, but you can help her by cluing her in to your absolute must have features. Be honest! Give your bridal consultant more of your genuine personality to go on, and you will save a lot of time.

One final piece of advice is to only go wedding gown shopping with those who will be supportive…and honest. If you and your mom have never seen eye to eye on fashion, maybe she is not going to be the best sounding board for you. And only bring a couple of people with you to shop, or you will end up with so many conflicting opinions that your own voice will be lost in the crowd. With these thoughts in mind, it will be much easier to find the perfect wedding gown. And when you do find “the one”, snap it up without hesitation!

Pace Yourself, Brides!

Imagine this: you have been planning your dream wedding for a year. Your parents have taken out a second mortgage on the house just to make sure that you get exactly what you want for your wedding. You waft down the aisle like an angel, resplendent in your fabulous designer bridal gown and equally fabulous bridal jewelry. “Isn’t she lovely,” the guests all coo. “The most beautiful bride ever”, they all agree. Until this vision of the gracious bride hits the bar at the reception and by the time the night is over, she is performing moves on the dance floor that are better left for the honeymoon.

What do you think the guests of those brides who lose control of themselves will remember about the wedding? How the bride looked like an ad from a bridal magazine in her gown and bridal jewelry exchanging her vows in the church, or the embarrassing scene she caused at the reception by falling down drunk, dirty dancing with her bridesmaids, or giving a booze-fueled inappropriate toast? Let me give you a hint: it will be pretty hard for anyone to forget if the bride makes a total fool of herself, since the video will have gone viral on the web before the newlyweds even make it to their honeymoon destination. Don’t let this happen to you, ladies!

A  good way that a bride can be sure to keep her head is to keep track of the alcohol she is consuming over the course of the day. Don’t just accept every glass that comes your way without a thought. Think about when you will most enjoy a special drink and plan accordingly. If you know that you want to try out your custom signature cocktail and share a romantic glass of Champagne with your new husband, have sparkling cider with dinner instead of wine.

And remember that when a person is the object of a toast, she should only raise her glass, not drink to herself (that can save a lot of added up sips of Champagne if you have a lot of speeches at your wedding). This is not to say that a bride should not relax and enjoy herself at her reception, just that when all is said and done, it is really nice if you can actually remember what happened there. In the end, you will be very happy to reach the end of your wedding day with your dignity and reputation intact!

A Perfectly Polished Wedding

We all know that true perfection is an impossible dream for a wedding. However, there are many, many things which a bride can do to ensure that her wedding is as polished and pulled together as possible. This is a list of what wedding insiders recommend doing to achieve the goal of a perfectly polished wedding.

Prep Your Wedding Gown. There is nothing to ruin a beautiful wedding photo like seeing a big gap between the top of a strapless gown and the bride within. Your bridal gown needs to be fit to perfection before the ceremony. The last fitting should be no more than a few weeks in advance in case you lose a couple of pounds at the end, as many brides do. Something else which is frequently overlooked is to steam the crinoline underneath the fabric of the bridal gown. The crinoline itself does not show, but if it is bumpy the skirt of the gown will not hang smoothly.

Perfect Your Accessories. Most brides know that they should have their wedding gown steamed or pressed before the ceremony, but to achieve a perfectly polished look, give your accessories that same care and attention. Personally, it drives me nuts to see a bride wearing a creased or rumply veil, when it is so easy for the bridal shop to steam it before the wedding. Your bridal jewelry deserves some pre-wedding tlc as well.  Have your engagement ring cleaned by a jeweler a day or two before the ceremony. It only takes a few minutes, costs nothing, and makes a huge difference in the sparkle of your gem.

Hand-cancel Your Wedding Invitations. Most brides put thought into selecting the right stamps for their invitation envelopes, and some even go so far as to create custom stamps. But if you really want your wedding invitations to arrive looking their best, take the time to hand-cancel them yourself at the post office. This avoids having a messy smudge of a cancel ruin your carefully chosen postage stamps. Even more than that, hand-canceling spares your invitations the rough treatment of the automated canceling machines, which can be very important when you have a bulky double envelope with enclosures or a ribbon inside. It is a little detail, but attention to detail is exactly what it takes to pull off a perfectly polished wedding.

Stylish Solutions for Wedding Day Rain

No matter how many times we hear that it is good luck, no bride actually hopes for rain on her wedding day. Weather is one of those things that you can’t control, so you had might as well go with the flow and make the best of it. These are some stylish solutions for dealing with rain on your wedding day.

If rain is in the forecast, the number one priority is to keep everyone dry. The beauty of the bride’s wedding gown and bridal jewelry will surely be diminished if she looks like a drowned rat, after all! Your guests will not exactly be delighted to sit through a long wedding in soaking wet clothes either, so shelter is the key. When planning an outdoor wedding, it is a really smart investment to have a tent. Should the forecast call for rain the week of the wedding, have your tent vendor add sides to the tent and a floor to cover wet and muddy ground. A very beautiful way to celebrate the weather is to choose a clear top tent. The sensation of seeing the rain but remaining dry is quite wonderful.

Another way that you can make inclement weather more bearable for your wedding guests is to make arrangements for valet parking. This will spare them a long walk between parking lot and venue, which is especially important if yours is a formal wedding and women will be wearing long dresses. Be sure that the valets know that you will be handling the tipping and that they are not to accept gratuities from guests. And do tip generously; working outdoors in the rain definitely merits a bonus.

Finally, do your best to embrace rain, should it happen on your wedding day. Some of the most spectacular photos ever taken of brides and grooms have been of the newlyweds in the rain (there is something about being wet that just says “passion”). If you take what comes with good cheer, you can be sure that your guests will also remain upbeat, no matter what Mother Nature decides to throw at you. As they say, let a smile be your umbrella. And as for the guests, you can provide their umbrellas - oversized golf umbrellas carried by ushers, to be exact.

Shocking Bride Behavior

Most brides are lovely people, as pleasant to be around during their weddings as they were before they became engaged. There are those, however, who show appalling behavior, selfishness, or greed, all with the excuse that they are the brides and the wedding is all about them. Take a look at this shocking bride behavior, and let it be a gentle reminder that the most beautiful brides are those who act beautifully as well.

One of the ugliest things a bride can do is to allow herself to become overwhelmed with greed. It is actually something that almost any bride can fall victim to. Think about it: when you are the bride-to-be, you receive all sorts of marvelous gifts, like bridal shower presents, wedding gifts, and maybe everything you need for the wedding itself, from your bridal gown and jewelry to a dream honeymoon. With all these great stuff coming their way for months, some brides forget that the whole point of a wedding is to get married, not to milk the occasion for as much free stuff as possible. A sure sign that a bride has crossed the line is when she starts demanding cash gifts or requires that people throw parties in her honor so that she can score more loot.

Another bit of shocking bride behavior is the woman who dresses in too seductive a fashion for a church wedding. Remember that the bride should impress with her radiance, not her decolletage. Out of respect for your church, if not your guests, wear an appropriately demure bridal gown for your wedding ceremony. And remember this, attention-seeking brides: as the bride, you are automatically the center of attention – it is not necessary to wear something scandalous to ensure that all eyes will be on you that day.

If there is one thing that is sure to shock everyone at a wedding it is when the bride gets totally drunk. A few glasses of Champagne is one thing, but no bride needs to get falling down wasted on her wedding day. It leads to all sorts of embarrassing incidents, from too-frank speeches, to overly sexy group dances with bridesmaids (hello, You Tube!), to tripping and falling. One thing is certain: if the bride gets completely intoxicated and makes a fool of herself at the reception, it is all that anyone will remember about her wedding.

Wedding Invitation FAQs

How do I choose a style? Your wedding invitations should match the general style of your wedding. In other words, if you are having a traditional wedding down to wearing your mother’s pearl bridal jewelry, your invitations should reflect that. Black engraving on white or ecru cotton paper will be perfect to convey a feeling of elegance and tradition. Having your wedding in an urban loft? Select a contemporary invitation, such as a square paper in a color with bold sans-serif printing.

What is the difference between engraving, thermography, letterpress, and flat (or offset) printing? Engraving is the most traditional means to put lettering on a formal piece of stationery. It is very upscale and elegant, with a price to match. The wording is etched onto a copper plate and then run through a press with ink and paper. Thermography is a more recent printing method which consists of ink mixed with a powder designed to mimic the raised lettering of engraving. Some people like thermography for making an invitation look formal at a lower cost than engraving, but in some circles, it is considered to be in poor taste. Letterpress is a very popular style of printing for invitations that can look either retro or contemporary. Due to its labor intensive process, it can cost as much as engraving. Flat printing or offset printing is the one type of lettering which does not create either raised or indented lettering. Very affordable and versatile, it is ideal for all but the most formal invitations, and is easy to do at home with a high quality printer.

Should I use “the honour of your presence” or “the pleasure of your company” when issuing a wedding invitation? This one is quite straightforward: the honour of your presence (usually written with the British spelling “honour”) is used to indicate that the ceremony is to take place in a house of worship. For any other venue, the pleasure of your company is the appropriate choice.

How do I word my invitation to make clear who is paying for the wedding? You don’t. Traditionally the bride and groom’s parents are considered to be the hosts of a wedding, which is why the invitation is issued in their names. The parents of the groom may also be included, as is customary in Europe, but none of it has anything to do with who is paying the bills. If the bride and groom prefer to act as hosts, as in the case of a second wedding, it is done so by omitting the host line. “The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of…” instead of “Mr. and Mrs. Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of…”.