Quiz: How Should Bridesmaids Be Treated?

Every bride has bridesmaids, but not every bride has the same reputation amongst her bridal party. Some are called bridezilla behind their backs, while other brides are known as being gracious. Take this quiz to find out if you know how you should treat your bridesmaids.

1. The main purpose of bridesmaids is:

   a. to lend support to the bride and to help her celebrate a joyous occasion in her life

   b. to run errands, throw parties, and generally be at the bride’s beck and call for a year

   c. who knows?

2. True or false: bridesmaids are obligated to throw the bride a bridal shower and a bachelorette party.

3. The bride should show her appreciation for her attendants in the following way:

   a. by asking as little of them as possible

   b. giving them thoughtful bridesmaid gifts, such as jewelry or engraved silver items

   c. bridesmaid gifts? The honor of being in my wedding is all the gift any bridesmaid needs!

4. If one of my former bridesmaids asked me to be in her wedding, I would be:

   a. delighted! I can’t wait to help my friend as much as she helped me with my wedding.

   b. irritated; why should I spend all that time and money being in a wedding?

   c. terrified! Did she invite me just to get revenge for the way I acted when she was my bridesmaid?

Answers:

1.a. Bridesmaid should be there to help the bride with minor wedding planning as their schedules allow, but their main purpose is just to be there in friendship for the bride on her wedding day. Far too many brides forget that bridesmaids are not their indentured servants!

2.False. Bridesmaids are under no obligation to throw any parties for the bride. It is true that bridesmaids will often get together to plan a shower, but they certainly do not have to, and the bride should never tell them to give her a party.

3.b. Show your bridesmaids how much you appreciate them with thoughtful bridesmaid gifts! Items with lasting value like jewelry or picture frames tend to be among the most popular gift ideas. Although it is kind to ask little of your attendants, it is not enough of a gift. And no, being in your wedding is not such a high honor that a proper present becomes unnecessary.

4. a. Of course you should be happy to get to return the favor when a former bridesmaid comes to you! After all, she is probably relying on the experience of a friend who is already married to help her figure out how to plan her wedding. It is not so nice to be irritated by a friend’s attempt to honor your friendship by inviting you to be in her wedding. For those who chose c, if you were such a bridezilla that you fear retribution, well…turnabout is fair play!

Avoid Wedding Drama

Weddings are exciting and emotionally charged. It seems like all too often, what should be the happiest time in a bride’s life ends up full of conflict with her family and friends. To help you avoid wedding drama before it even starts, put these tips to work for you.

Choose Your Bridal Party Carefully. Okay, if you have any sisters, they will pretty much need to be bridesmaids no matter what, but beyond that, take some time to carefully consider whom you would like to have in your bridal party. For goodness sake, don’t pick your bridesmaids based on how pretty they are or other superficial standards! Choose your bridesmaids based on their character and the genuine affection you have for them.

Involve Your Mother-in-Law. The overbearing mother-in-law is a legendary creature, one that is sometimes based on fact. If you think your fiance’s mother is going to meddle in your wedding planning and drive you crazy, make a preemptive strike. Ask her for assistance in some minor areas of the wedding, such as picking out favors and bridesmaid gifts. If she has a defined role, she will feel useful, and be much more likely to try to take over the entire event.

Be Realistic About Your Budget. No one wants to start off their married life mired in debt, nor should the bride’s family be forced to spend more than they can possibly afford. A large percentage of wedding disagreements center around money, so if you have your finances in order from the beginning, you will find there is much less to fight about. One important thing to keep in mind is that anyone who is contributing to the wedding expenses can realistically expect to have a say in how the money is spent.

Be Equitable About the Guest List. After money, the guest list is one of the biggest potential fights that a bride and groom have with their families. One way to keep things fair is to determine the number of guests whom you can afford to host, and then divide it up into equal sections. Usually, 1/3 of the list goes to the bride’s parents, another 1/3 to the groom’s parents, and the last 1/3 to the bride and groom. Whatever you do, please do not make the number of guests someone is allotted dependent on their financial contribution.  Being fair is the gracious thing to do, and it will help to nip those nasty guest list fights in the bud.

Non-Traditional Bridal Showers

The traditional bridal shower is a timeless wedding custom. Yet, it is certainly not the only way that a bride and her bridesmaids can spend quality time together. When the bride does not want a shower or a classic bridal shower just does not seem to fit the situation, there are plenty of other great options. These are some fun ideas for non-traditional bridal showers.

A spa retreat is a great alternative gathering. All of the ladies involved in the wedding can spend an afternoon together at a fancy day spa getting pampered. Pedicures with cocktails, lots of chit chat, and good times are on the agenda. This can be a wonderful way for the bridal party to relax and unwind before the wedding. If gifts will be given, they can be presented to the bride at the end of the pampering.  By the way, brides, a spa day can also be a great time for you to give your bridesmaid gifts to your attendants, especially if it is an event for only the members of the wedding party.

A night out in the big city can be a really fun gathering instead of a bridal shower. This would be particularly nice for a second time bride, for whom her friends want to do something special that does not involve gifts. Take the bride out to a dinner in a trendy restaurant, and follow it up with either tickets to the hottest play in town or a night of hitting the dance clubs, depending on which she would enjoy more. For out of towners, think about renting a few hotel rooms to share and staying the night so you can have a leisurely brunch and do some shopping the next day.

Non-traditional bridal showers can also be tailored to the bride’s hobbies or interests. Perhaps the bride loves quilting. Why not get everyone together for a fun old-fashioned quilting bee? Each person can work on one square at the party, and at the end the bride gets to keep all of the squares to stitch into a one-of-a-kind keepsake quilt. The quilt would be a marvelous alternative to regular shower gifts, especially for the bride who already has all of the basic household goods. A special event, tailored to her interests, is a wonderful way to show the bride how much everyone cares for her.

Top Bridesmaid Gifts for Winter Weddings

Looking for some great ideas for your bridesmaid gifts? Well, look no further! These are the top bridesmaid gifts for winter weddings, any of which your bridesmaids will surely be delighted to receive.

A tin cup necklace. Why are these beautiful necklaces one of the best bridesmaid gifts? Simple, because they are a true classic that is always in style, in any season and for any style of wedding. The floating pearls on a tin cup necklace make them so airy and feminine that they are a natural to pair with your favorite bridesmaid dress style. For every woman in your bridal party, a tin cup necklace makes a fantastic gift!

Swarovski crystal necklaces. Winter weddings are often very elegant, and nothing adds glamor like the sparkle of genuine crystal. You can customize the Swarovski crystal necklaces for your bridesmaid gifts in your wedding colors. Or choose a dramatic color such as rich garnet to add intensity to a bridesmaid dress in one of the neutral shades that are in vogue this season. Clear crystal Swarovski necklaces are fabulous for that icy “Winter Wonderland” effect.

Snowflake theme bridesmaid jewelry. How beautiful will your bridesmaids look and feel in gorgeous crystal snowflake earrings? It is a stunning style that is festive and cheery for a winter wedding. Another idea is to use a Swarovski crystal snowflake on a simple pendant for a piece that is sure to dazzle the recipient. For your flower girls, a small silver snowflake charm for her charm bracelet would make a lovely gift idea.

These ideas are fantastic for winter wedding bridesmaid gifts. Some celebrate the winter season, while others are great for any season; what they have in common is that all are heartfelt expressions of your appreciation.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Bachelorette Parties

Does a bachelorette party have to be rauchy? No! For that matter, neither does a bachelor party. The idea is to get together with your friends for one last night of fun before your wedding, and if Chippendale dancers and suggestively shaped lollipops are not your idea of a good time, then by all means skip the naughty stuff. A girls’ night out at your favorite pub or hitting the dance floor at the hottest nightclub in town are also fun and memorable, and you won’t spend the night feeling embarrassed.

Who pays for the bachelorette party? The bachelorette party is most often organized by the maid of honor and the bridesmaids (one more reason they deserve really awesome bridesmaid gifts!). If the party is one night at a local bar, they will usually split the costs between them. It may be that any upfront costs are evenly divided  and that each person pays for her own drinks and chips in extra to make sure the bride’s bar tab is covered at the end of the night. However, if the bachelorette party is going to be held over a weekend away at a spa or a party town like Las Vegas, the bride should be expected to pay for many of her own expenses. And no, the bridesmaids do not have to cover her gambling losses at the casino!

Who should be invited? Certainly, all of the bridesmaids and the maid of honor. Unless you are opting for a spa day or some other G-rated activity, the younger members of the bridal party should sit this one out. When the bachelorette party is held locally, feel free to invite the bride’s other friends who are not in the wedding, her co-workers, and so on. Who to leave out? The mothers and grandmothers of the bride and groom! Also don’t plan on inviting an extended entourage if you are taking the party on the road; it is just too expensive for most people.

Can it be co-ed? Sure! Just as bridal showers are now sometimes “Jack and Jill” events, so too can there be a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party. Assemble the whole gang for a wild adventure at a favorite watering hole or club. At least this way, the bride and groom will not have to wonder what the other one did at their party!

Do You Have to Include Every Wedding Tradition?

Weddings are tradition-laden occasions, of this there can be no doubt. It seems like so many of the customs are included in a wedding merely because they are traditional, long after the original meaning has been lost. To some modern couples, this may not seem like enough of a reason to do things in a certain way. These are some of the wedding customs that can easily be skipped, as well as those not to be missed.

Some parts of the wedding have very strong and clear symbolism, and should definitely be included. The biggest examples would be the exchange of vows and the wedding bands. This does not mean that these have to be handled in any particular way, however. Many couples forgo the traditional vows (especially the “obey” part) and write their own vows. Certainly, you can choose any sort of wedding bands that appeal to you, from the classic plain gold band to one-of-a-kind pieces handcrafted by a local artisan. Most men these days do also receive wedding bands in the ceremony, even if they decide not to wear one on a daily basis due to their work or simply personal preference.

A common complaint about weddings is the enormous expense for just one day. While having an affordable wedding is certainly reasonable, there are some customs that cannot be shed just to trim the budget. One of these is giving bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts. If you choose to have a wedding party, giving bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts to thank them for their participation is mandatory, and is really nothing compared to the expense it costs to be in a wedding (attire, travel, gifts, parties, etc.). however, if the bride and groom both agree, it is acceptable for them to leave out the custom of giving one another a gift on the morning of the wedding.

There are lots of things that are done at nearly every wedding that are fine to omit from yours. Do you have to have a cake cutting ceremony? No; in fact, you do not even have to have a traditional wedding cake. If the cake cutting moment does not appeal to you, feel free to substitute a dessert bar, cupcakes, or even fresh fruit pies for the grand cake. Although many brides and grooms seem to relish the spotlight, a shy pair of newlyweds may certainly decide to skip the first dance and open the floor up to general dancing immediately. Certainly don’t give a second thought to the traditional bouquet toss if you think it is ditzy, and by all means, skip the tacky garter toss. Your wedding is a special day to celebrate your love, and by all means, make it your own.

Neutral Bridesmaid Dresses Your Girls Will Adore

There is an age-old tug-of-war that takes place between brides and bridesmaids. The bride wants her attendants to wear a dress that will enhance the style of her wedding, and the bridesmaids want a dress that doesn’t scream “bridesmaid”. After all, they figure, if they are going to drop hundreds of dollars on a dress, it should be something they can actually use again in the future. The perfect compromise: stylish dresses in versatile neutral tones that can be accessorized in a way that says “bridesmaid” and then worn again with different accessories for future parties.

One of the most chic neutrals right now is gray. For an evening wedding, pair a long one shoulder gray dress with dramatic accents in your wedding colors. You can have bridesmaid jewelry custom made as gifts for your attendants in your wedding colors, such as hot pink crystal chandelier earrings. Many, many other colors work beautifully with gray, from rich red to regal purple to bright canary yellow. That is the beauty of a neutral color such as gray; it is all what you want to make of it.

Light colors like almond and cream are increasingly popular for bridesmaid dresses. They can look very soft and ethereal, and are certainly easy for your friends to wear again in the future.  Short floaty chiffon numbers strike just the right note, especially when accented with bright colors. A creamy short bridesmaid dress paired with lime green silk high heel sandals would look absolutely stunning. Bring in more pops of color with details such as stacks of green crystal bracelets for their bridesmaid jewelry and a simple green satin headband.

Two other popular neutrals for bridesmaid dresses are brown, and of course, the ubiquitous little black dress. Brown is an extremely easy neutral to layer with color. It looks feminine with pink, stylish with aqua, autumnal with orange, luxurious with bronze, and hip with chartreuse. Your favorite color can be layered in as a removable sash, a silk wrap, a beaded clutch, or a trendy headband. After the wedding it will be a snap for your friends to use different accessories to create an entirely different effect.

A Modern Orange and Blue Wedding

The right color palette can do a lot for your wedding. It can give it style and energy, set a tone and establish a strong theme. The trick is to select wedding colors that feel fresh and original. One hot new style is a modern orange and blue wedding.

When choosing the particular shades to put together, think about the impression that they give. The orange and blue should also be of a similar intensity. For instance, on a hot summer day, tangerine and aqua blue feel tropical and festive. Peach and robin’s egg blue are soft and feminine for a spring garden wedding. A pure orange and a navy blue are bold and modern, perfect for a confident bride with a contemporary style.

Orange is a very versatile color for wedding flowers. From bouquets, to centerpieces, to accent pieces, you will find all sorts of gorgeous orange blossoms to include. Tie up a bouquet of bright orange gerbera daisies with a navy blue and white striped wrap. Or display soft ruffly apricot sweetpeas in vintage robin’s egg blue pitchers and footed vases. For a unique take on the tangerine and aqua palette, fill the bottoms of clear vases with bright aqua blue crystals or marbles, then top with festive flowers in shades of tangerine.

The bridesmaids’ attire is another place that you will surely want to use your wedding colors. Peach is flattering on a range of skin tones, but the bolder oranges shades can be difficult to pull off. They will tend to work best on brides with deeper skin tones. In many cases, pulling the blue into the bridesmaids’ dresses is the best way to go, especially considering that they will be carrying orange bouquets. This will allow the dresses and bouquets to pop against one another. For the bridesmaid jewelry sets, you can either have pieces custom made in crystals in your wedding colors, or choose neutral sets of bridesmaid jewelry.

Once you have designed your wedding flowers and bridal party attire, you can think about the rest of the wedding. Your blue and orange color palette will look great carried into the table linens, favors, and even into chandeliers. Have fun designing a wedding in blue and orange that is modern, chic, and a true original.

What Your Bridesmaids Want You to Know

It is easy to get so wrapped up in being a bride that you forget about the other people involved in making your wedding a success. Bridesmaids are notoriously overlooked, yet most of them are gracious enough to stifle their complaints to spare the bride’s feelings. If they were being honest, these are the things that your bridesmaids would want you to know.

First of all, they are all individuals. Your best friend from college and your cousin from Nebraska do not necessarily have the same taste in clothing, the same figure, or the same type of hair. In fact, in many groups of bridesmaids, the women do not have that much in common, other than caring about the bride. This is okay! Bridesmaids do not need to be clones, and the bride should not try to force them into a mold. Let each woman express her own individuality on your wedding day.

Your bridesmaids also want you to know that they would prefer not to spend $400 on a dress that they will never wear again. A considerate bride either chooses a dress that everyone can afford, or allows each attendant to pick her own dress within certain guidelines. What bridesmaids really love is getting to wear a black cocktail dress from their own closet, but do not feel obligated to go this far in appeasing them; it is reasonable to expect the bridesmaid dresses to be appropriate for the style of your wedding, and a black party dress does not always fit the bill.

One thing that your bridesmaids really want you to know is that they appreciate being appreciated. Host a ladies’ luncheon a few days before your wedding as a chance to get everyone together and express your gratitude for all they have done for you. This is the perfect chance to present them with gifts to show your thanks, such as bridesmaid jewelry. The best bridesmaid gifts are those with lasting and sentimental value, such as jewelry or a silver picture frame. Of course, last but not least, your bridesmaids would like you to know how happy they are for you.

The Pregnant Bridesmaid Dilemma

When you find out that one of your bridesmaids is going to have a baby, naturally your first reaction is going to be joy. After all, she is one of your closest friends, or even a sister, so you will be thrilled about her good news. It would be only natural, however, to also have some concerns about how this new development will impact your wedding. Of course, you wouldn’t say anything about it at the time your friend is sharing her joyous news, but it is only human to have that selfish moment where you wonder what this is going to do to your wedding party. As long as you handle the situation with tact and thoughtfulness, everything can surely be worked out in a positive way.

Of course one of the biggest questions is how close your bridesmaid’s due date is to your wedding date. If she is going to be in her 9^th month, or perhaps even have the baby shortly before your wedding, it would be best all around if she resigns her role as bridesmaid. There is no easy way to suggest to a friend that she should drop out of your bridal party, and so you should not ask her to. It would be perfectly fine, however, to mention to her that you would not be at all offended if she felt like planning to be in your wedding right around her due date was too much to manage. The chances are that she will be relieved to be let off the hook without hurting your feelings.

Often when a bridesmaid cannot practically serve, you can find another ceremonial role for her in honor of your close relationship that will be less demanding. You could ask her to do a reading during your ceremony or perhaps to sit by the guest book and greet your guests as they enter the reception. These special duties will let everyone know that this person is important to you, yet they will not be physically taxing for a woman who is advanced in her pregnancy.

Whether she is able to participate in the wedding ceremony or not, be sure to include your pregnant bridesmaid in all of the pre-wedding festivities and to give her one of the bridesmaid gifts. Even if in the end she cannot attend your wedding, the bridesmaid gifts and party invitations are a way of letting her know how much you value her friendship. Because it is friendship, after all, that is the whole point of having bridesmaids stand up with you at your wedding.