Quiz: How Should Bridesmaids Be Treated?

March 8th, 2010

Every bride has bridesmaids, but not every bride has the same reputation amongst her bridal party. Some are called bridezilla behind their backs, while other brides are known as being gracious. Take this quiz to find out if you know how you should treat your bridesmaids.

  1. The main purpose of bridesmaids is:

    a. to lend support to the bride and to help her celebrate a joyous occasion in her life

    b. to run errands, throw parties, and generally be at the bride’s beck and call for a year

    c. who knows?

  2. True or false: bridesmaids are obligated to throw the bride a bridal shower and a bachelorette party.

  3. The bride should show her appreciation for her attendants in the following way:

    a. by asking as little of them as possible

    b. giving them thoughtful bridesmaid gifts, such as jewelry or engraved silver items

    c. bridesmaid gifts? The honor of being in my wedding is all the gift any bridesmaid needs!

  4. If one of my former bridesmaids asked me to be in her wedding, I would be:

    a. delighted! I can’t wait to help my friend as much as she helped me with my wedding.

    b. irritated; why should I spend all that time and money being in a wedding?

    c. terrified! Did she invite me just to get revenge for the way I acted when she was my bridesmaid?

Answers:

1.a. Bridesmaid should be there to help the bride with minor wedding planning as their schedules allow, but their main purpose is just to be there in friendship for the bride on her wedding day. Far too many brides forget that bridesmaids are not their indentured servants!

2.False. Bridesmaids are under no obligation to throw any parties for the bride. It is true that bridesmaids will often get together to plan a shower, but they certainly do not have to, and the bride should never tell them to give her a party.

3.b. Show your bridesmaids how much you appreciate them with thoughtful bridesmaid gifts! Items with lasting value like jewelry or picture frames tend to be among the most popular gift ideas. Although it is kind to ask little of your attendants, it is not enough of a gift. And no, being in your wedding is not such a high honor that a proper present becomes unnecessary.

4. a. Of course you should be happy to get to return the favor when a former bridesmaid comes to you! After all, she is probably relying on the experience of a friend who is already married to help her figure out how to plan her wedding. It is not so nice to be irritated by a friend’s attempt to honor your friendship by inviting you to be in her wedding. For those who chose c, if you were such a bridezilla that you fear retribution, well…turnabout is fair play!

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Is She a Bridesmaid – or a Maidzilla?!

November 24th, 2008

First there was bridezilla. Then came her equally out-of-control mother, momzilla. Now weddings everywhere are being terrorized by the latest member of the bridal party to run amok: maidzilla!

A maidzilla is a bridesmaid who has gone rogue. She terrorizes vendors, the other bridesmaids, and even the bride and groom! There is nothing that a bridezilla will not say or do to get her way. She will often even try to boss the bride around, as if she is the one getting married.

Maidzillas can get so caught up in their mission that they forget whose wedding it is. They end up more concerned about what makes them happy than what is best for the bride. You see them everywhere: telling the bride that the bridesmaid dress she has chosen is ugly, insisting that the couple do their first dance to her favorite song, and even telling the bride which wedding gown to buy.

The maidzilla will also try to manipulate things in her favor. This is the bridesmaid who will dig up some obscure piece of etiquette that says the bride should spend some exorbitant sum on bridesmaid gifts. “Oh, Sarah, haven’t you heard? You are supposed to give gifts to each bridesmaid worth at least 1% of the total cost of the wedding.”, or some such nonsense (1%, by the way, would be over $250 for each gift based on the cost of the average American wedding!) A maidzilla also can no doubt “help” the bride pick out just the perfect thing.

The good news is that just like bridezillas, maidzillas usually revert back to their normally charming selves after the wedding is over. The best thing to do is ride it out, and to stand up for yourself when necessary. And maybe take a few notes for things to do when your maidzilla of a bridesmaid asks you to be in her wedding one day!

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