Deciding Who Will Walk You Down the Aisle

November 25th, 2008

In most American weddings, the bride’s father is the one to walk her down the aisle. It is a special ritual, as it often ends with the father “giving away” his daughter to her new husband when they reach the altar. If the bride is wearing a blusher, the father may be the one to push it back, as he gives his little girl a parting kiss on the cheek.

The walk down the aisle is an enduring father-daughter ritual that is one part of the whole special bond between them during the wedding process. There are other parts of the wedding that can also be very sentimental for a father and daughter. When I was planning my wedding, my father wanted me to have some special pearl bridal jewelry to wear on my big day. One of my fondest memories is when my father presented me with the pearl bridal jewelry he had chosen right before left for the church. The father-daughter dance during the reception is also another highlight of the wedding.

This is all great if the bride has a father available to her. But some brides have fathers who have passed away, or who are not a part of their lives for some other reason. This can make what should be a very happy moment into a bittersweet one for brides feeling the loss of a dad, whether he is living or not. There are, however, some other options for choosing the right person to accompany you down the aisle.

Many brides will choose another male relative if their father is unavailable. The bride’s grandfather, uncle, or step-father are all excellent choices, as is a brother. The question of the step-father can be a thorny one if the bride’s dad is still in the picture, but she was raised by her step-dad. In cases like that, you have to follow your heart.

Not only men have the privilege of escorting a bride down the aisle, by the way. In the Jewish faith, it is traditional for the mother and father of the groom to walk with him down the aisle, and for both parents to accompany the bride as well. This is a lovely custom, as it emphasizes the role of both parents in raising their children.

In the end, choosing the person who will walk you down the aisle is an entirely personal choice. Whether you choose, to have your father, mother, both parents, or even to walk alone, the key is to do what will make you feel most comfortable. At least you know that when you walk back up the aisle, it will be arm in arm with your new husband!

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