Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette Essentials
Before you start planning your pre-wedding dinner, brush up on the essentials of rehearsal dinner etiquette here…
The Groom’s Family Traditionally Hosts: People often wonder who should throw the rehearsal dinner, and traditionally it has been the responsibility of the groom’s family. However, it is important to realize two things: first of all, this custom began back when the bride’s family paid for all of the wedding arrangements; if the couple is older and hosting their own wedding or if the groom’s family is chipping in for the reception, it may well work out that someone else hosts the rehearsal dinner. Point number two is that nobody is ever obligated to throw a party in someone else’s honor. If the groom’s parents do not offer to host a pre-wedding party, they certainly should not be pushed into it.
The Guest List: At the very minimum, the rehearsal dinner should include the bride and groom, their parents, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the officiant, along with spouses. Other immediate family such as grandparents, siblings, and often aunts, uncles, and cousins should also make the guest list. Etiquette has long stated that out-of-town guests who arrived the day before the wedding should also be invited to the dinner, however this custom is no longer so strictly observed, as the pre-wedding dinner would end up being as large as the wedding itself.
The Toasts: As the traditional host of the pre-wedding meal, it is customary for the father of the groom to open the dinner with a toast to the bride and groom. During his speech the groom’s father will usually thank everyone for making the trip, tell the bride how thrilled he and the groom’s mother are to welcome her to their family, and say a few kind words wishing the couple much future happiness. Anyone who wishes to follow suit after the groom’s father is welcome to say a few words. It is smart to do the speeches early in the evening before people get too many drinks in them!
General Party Etiquette: The rehearsal dinner is an event for all of the people directly involved in the wedding, therefore it is not the best time to hand out groomsmen and bridesmaid gifts. One of the main reasons to have a pre-wedding dinner is to allow the bride and groom’s families to get to know each other a little better before the main event. All guests should make an effort to mingle and chat with members of the other family. Unlike the wedding reception, the departure of the bride and groom from the pre-wedding party does not necessarily signal the end of the event, so the couple should feel free to graciously exit after dessert to get their “beauty sleep” before the wedding day.
Filed under Bridesmaid Gifts, Uncategorized, Wedding Planning | Tags: Bridesmaid Gifts, rehearsal dinner, rehearsal dinner etiquette, wedding etiquette | Comment (0)Planning a Weekend of Wedding Events
For a Saturday wedding, the wedding weekend will likely begin on a Thursday. This is the ideal time for the bride to host a ladies’ luncheon, a lunch which she gives to show her appreciation for her bridesmaids. During the luncheon, the bride will give out the pearl earrings, or whatever gift she selected for her bridesmaids. The ladies’ luncheon is typically held in a nice restaurant, since the last thing the bride needs to be doing the week of her wedding is cooking and hosting a party at her house!
Friday is when things really ramp up. A trip to the beauty salon is usually the first order of business for the ladies in the wedding. This can be a really fun time for the bride, her bridesmaids, and the moms to bond over manis and pedis (and maybe a few Champagne cocktails, if the spa is really posh!). Friday afternoon is the usual time for the wedding rehearsal, and it is important that all hands are on deck for this event. Some couples like to line up an activity to entertain their out-of-town guests on Friday who will not be attending the rehearsal. A sight-seeing tour or trip to a local attraction like a vineyard would be a good choice.
Friday night is the traditional time for the rehearsal dinner. In recent years, some couples have opted to host a wedding welcome dinner instead of a rehearsal dinner. The difference is that the welcome dinner is open to everyone, which can make a lot of sense if a large percentage of your wedding guests will be out-of-towners. The rehearsal dinner or welcome dinner can be as formal or informal as you like. You could rent a yacht and serve a five star meal or have a picnic in a neighborhood park; there is no right or wrong. The only rule of thumb is that you don’t want to have a rehearsal dinner which is more lavish than the wedding reception!
On Saturday will come the wedding ceremony and reception, of course, but that is not all. For ceremonies with a 4pm start time or later, it has become very popular to arrange a group activity to keep people entertained before the wedding. The golf tournament is a particular favorite, although you could choose any activities which you think your friends and family would enjoy. The comes the wedding itself, which is of course, the main event of the weekend.
The final thing to add to your wedding weekend is a post-wedding brunch on Sunday morning. This is always a fun and relaxed event, where guests can see the newlyweds one more time before they head off on their honeymoon. It is really just a great way to cap off a wonderful weekend of wedding fun.
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