Pace Yourself, Brides!

Imagine this: you have been planning your dream wedding for a year. Your parents have taken out a second mortgage on the house just to make sure that you get exactly what you want for your wedding. You waft down the aisle like an angel, resplendent in your fabulous designer bridal gown and equally fabulous bridal jewelry. “Isn’t she lovely,” the guests all coo. “The most beautiful bride ever”, they all agree. Until this vision of the gracious bride hits the bar at the reception and by the time the night is over, she is performing moves on the dance floor that are better left for the honeymoon.

What do you think the guests of those brides who lose control of themselves will remember about the wedding? How the bride looked like an ad from a bridal magazine in her gown and bridal jewelry exchanging her vows in the church, or the embarrassing scene she caused at the reception by falling down drunk, dirty dancing with her bridesmaids, or giving a booze-fueled inappropriate toast? Let me give you a hint: it will be pretty hard for anyone to forget if the bride makes a total fool of herself, since the video will have gone viral on the web before the newlyweds even make it to their honeymoon destination. Don’t let this happen to you, ladies!

A  good way that a bride can be sure to keep her head is to keep track of the alcohol she is consuming over the course of the day. Don’t just accept every glass that comes your way without a thought. Think about when you will most enjoy a special drink and plan accordingly. If you know that you want to try out your custom signature cocktail and share a romantic glass of Champagne with your new husband, have sparkling cider with dinner instead of wine.

And remember that when a person is the object of a toast, she should only raise her glass, not drink to herself (that can save a lot of added up sips of Champagne if you have a lot of speeches at your wedding). This is not to say that a bride should not relax and enjoy herself at her reception, just that when all is said and done, it is really nice if you can actually remember what happened there. In the end, you will be very happy to reach the end of your wedding day with your dignity and reputation intact!

Too Young or Too Old to Get Married?

We all know that the average age to get married is the mid-20s. But people of all age find love and want to make a permanent commitment to their beloved. Is there one perfect age to say “I Do” or can a person follow their heart at any age? Can a person ever be too young or too old to get married?

When it comes to being too old, the answer is no. As long as both people are of sound mind, why shouldn’t they have the chance to enjoy a romance as seniors? I know a woman who creates custom bridal gowns, and she says that one of the sweetest brides she ever made a gown for was a woman in her 80s. She had been widowed for many years, and met a man in a similar situation through a place where they both volunteered. This man was a true gentleman, and courted her properly; he even asked the widow’s daughter for permission to propose to his sweetheart. She made a truly beautiful bride in her custom blue wedding gown and elegant bridal jewelry.

The other question is not so easily answered. The short answer is yes, people certainly can be too young to make the lifelong commitment involved in a marriage.  Readiness to marry is less a question of a particular age, perhaps, but one of the maturity of the potential bride and groom. That said, few people are truly mature before they have had time to live on their own, take responsibility for running a home, and gotten a little life experience. Statistics bear this out; couples who wait until their late 20s or early 30s to get married have a lower divorce rate than teen brides and grooms. So don’t go rushing off to marry your high school sweetheart just yet.

A final piece of advice for young engaged couples is to opt for a long engagement. Both people should definitely be out of high school; finished with college would be even better. After all, if it is true love, the relationship will last and grow into something even better over the period of a long engagement. And besides, every bride and groom should be able to raise a toast at their wedding.

Last Minute Wedding Panics (and how to cure them)

Every bride has some sort of last minute panic in the final weeks before her wedding. Everything from, “what if I wake up with a huge zit the morning of the wedding?” to “am I making a horrible mistake getting married?. These questions are all too common, and are usually nothing more than a bad case of jitters and stage fright. Check out this list of last minute wedding panics that most brides face, as well as how to cure them quickly.

Am I making a horrible mistake getting married? Not every bride faces this question, but for those who do, it can be agonizing. Be aware that in the vast majority of cases, cold feet is not a sign of a serious problem, it is just a reaction to making a very strong commitment. Don’t do anything rash; go out for a relaxing night with your best friend and talk it over. The chances are she will tell you that you are doing the right thing, and that when you hear it from a trusted friend, you will feel reassured and find your fears melt away.

Did I pick the wrong dress?  Brides usually experience this fear because of the stress put on choosing the “perfect” gown, especially as the time draws near to debut the wedding dress. If you really are having doubts, remind yourself what features drew you to the gown in the first place; the chances are strong that you still like them. Now ask yourself what worries you about the dress.Perhaps the style of your wedding has evolved since you ordered your gown. The easy solution to that is to experiment with some different accessories. You can make a simple gown more elegant by adding an ornate set of bridal jewelry and a dramatic veil, or tone down an opulent bridal gown with very simple jewelry and a short veil.

What if I mess up my vows? As the wedding day draws near, it is perfectly natural for stage fright to set it, especially for brides who normally shun the spotlight. There are a few things to keep in mind. One is that people do flub their vows all the time, and it is really no big deal Even Princess Diana did it and she had millions of people watching her do it live on television; a small slip up in front of your loved ones will not detract from the beauty of your ceremony. And remember that you will not be all alone up there on the altar; your fiance will be right there with you.

Everyone will face their own individual moments of panic right before they get married. It is normal, but nothing to let interfere with the excitement and joy of your wedding. Do your best to relax and remember that the true point of a wedding is not to put on the party of the year, but to celebrate your marriage surrounded by those you love. If you can keep that in mind, all of those panicky fears will shrink down to size.

Dealing with Rude Wedding Guests

Unfortunately, it is a fact of life: at every wedding there are going to be a few guests who are thoughtless, inconsiderate, or downright rude. There is no need to let a few irritating people detract from how much you enjoy your wedding, however. Here are the most common issues that couples face with rude wedding guests, and how to deal with them with a smile on your face.

Some guests do not intend to cause any trouble, yet manage to be very aggravating. These are the people are can’t seem to do anything or get anywhere on time. They do not return their response cards by the requested date, don’t return follow up phone calls, and some will even turn up at the wedding without ever bothering to R.s.v.p. that they are coming! By the time the day of the wedding rolls around, you may well be so annoyed that you no longer even care if they come. Leave a  polite message letting them know that the caterer is demanding a final head count by Saturday, and if you do not hear back, you will assume they are unable to attend.

The couple should not delay their ceremony to accommodate late guests unless it is a member of the wedding party or a very close relative (mother, wait; aunt, the show must go on). It is not fair to all of the other guests who were considerate enough to be on time. Once the last guest has been seated, anyone else who arrives should wait until after the processional to enter the ceremony site. At that point, the latecomer can slip into a seat in the last row, or simply stand quietly in the back.

Another type of guest who steals the bride’s thunder  is the guest who shows up looking so dramatic that all eyes will be upon her all night. You know the one; she is wearing a backless cocktail dress with enough wedding jewelry up for the entire bridal party. Or the aunt who insists on wearing her $50,000 diamond and sapphire suite of jewelry to a simple afternoon wedding in the bride’s backyard. If you are the bride, the only thing to do is to smile; don’t waste a second of your time worrying about the other person stealing your spotlight, because no one can outshine a bride on her wedding day.

Handy Tips for Bridesmaids

Here are some handy tips for bridesmaids to help you be the best bridesmaid a bride could ever have.

Tip No. 1: Assume that the bride will go a little crazy, and be there to pull her back from the brink. A wedding is such an emotionally charged time that even the most level headed bride is sure to have some stressful moments. When she is on the verge of a breakdown because the printer spelled her name wrong on the invitations or her fiance chose a golf weekend with his buddies over a trip to a wedding show, a good bridesmaid will help the bride to calm down. Take her out to dinner or a funny movie, and help take her mind off of the wedding for a few hours until she has calmed down.

Tip No. 2: Anticipate the bride’s needs as much as possible. You know that her mother drives her crazy? Then run interference at the bridal shower and occupy her mother with an engaging conversation to keep her away from the bride. You know your friend dreads shopping? Then make appointments for her at the bridal shops and take her to find the perfect gown. If the bride is a people pleaser? Let her think that you love the bridesmaid dress that she has chosen, even if you hate the color. You can always spruce it up with some fabulous bridesmaid jewelry to make it look prettier, and the bride will be happy if she believes that you are happy.

Tip No. 3: Be prompt and responsible. If the bride says that everyone needs to have their deposits into the bridal shop for bridesmaid dresses by Saturday, get yours in on Thursday.  Don’t be that one girl that the bride has to chase down for everything.

Tip No. 4: Take the time to look your best for her wedding.  Be sure that your nails are freshly manicured and get your hair styled. Do not show up to the wedding in a dress that is wrinkled, shoes that are scuffed, or bridesmaid jewelry that needs to be polished. It is bound to make the bride feel like you did not care enough about her wedding (even if you are genuinely overjoyed for her). After all, part of being a great bridesmaid is being a considerate friend.

Wedding Things That I am Over!

If you look at enough pictures of weddings, after a while, you start to see the same things done in the same way over and over again. Sometimes these are ideas that started out as fresh trends only to become so popular that they have lost their unique appeal. In other instances, brides might be doing something in the established way, and it just feels too dated and overdone. This is a list of wedding things that I am over; read along and see if you agree!

Strapless Dresses. Yes I know that they are very flattering and that they also account for 3/4s of the available gown choices these days. And yet it seems like for the last however many years, every bride you see is wearing some variation of a strapless gown. Enough already! The freshest new looks are the one shoulder gowns, often with unique and special couture styling that give them a daring yet elegant appeal. If asymmetry is not your thing, there are also some lovely new gowns with wide set straps that flow into plunging deep v-necks, which is incredibly flattering on most women.

Too Much Jewelry or Not Enough. This may seem like a contradiction, but it seems like many brides have trouble finding that perfect happy medium when it comes to their accessories. You either see brides who are trying to make a minimalist and ultra-modern statement by omitting any ornamentation or brides who pile on so much jewelry that they end up looking like soap opera stars. Neither extreme is good! On the one hand, your wedding is not the time to dress down, so a subtle piece or two of crystal bridal jewelry makes a nice addition to a very simple gown. On the other hand, a very big rhinestone necklace paired with a bold tiara is just way too much. You should pick one stand out accessory, and pair it with a good supporting cast.

Choreographed First Dances. Taking dance lessons so that you don’t feel foolish taking a spin around the dance floor during your spotlight dance is a wonderful idea. Hiring a choreographer and involving an entire cast of “extras”  is just plain tacky. Your guests come to your wedding to join you in celebrating your marriage, not to see a Broadway show. Can we please have a return to the days where the newlyweds did an awkward but honest shuffle around the dance floor to “At Last” or “Unforgettable” and then the floor was opened up to others? Please?

Overly Clever Wedding Cakes. The trend in recent years has been for wedding cakes that are more and more unusual and eye-popping. Neon colors, tilted tiers, lights, sparkles, and cakes costing many, many thousands of dollars have become the norm. There comes a point, however, when you can just get too clever in trying to make your cake unique and it loses the idea of simple beauty that has guided brides for generations. I think that we have reached a tipping point on the trendy cakes, and that it is time for a return to the classics. After several years of over-the-top cake design, more simple desserts will feel like a breath of fresh air.

Tips for the Brother of the Bride

If you are the brother of the bride, you may not think that you have much of a role to play in the upcoming wedding, but that is not true. There are plenty of ways in which you can participate and share in the excitement. Here are some tips on how to be a great brother of the bride.

A lot of guys are not really that “into” weddings, and unless it is your wedding, that is just fine. You may think that your sister and mom are going absolutely crazy over this whole wedding thing (especially if you are the younger, unmarried brother of the bride), and it may even be true. However, you will do yourself no favors by sharing that opinion with your sister, for whom the wedding is probably one of the biggest days of her entire life. A better tactic when your sister starts going on about the wedding is just to smile and nod while she talks; she may not even notice that your eyes have glazed over!

Most brothers of the bride will be asked to participate in the ceremony in some way. You will probably be asked to serve as a groomsman, and your duties will be much the same as those of the rest of the groomsmen. You get to help with the bachelor party, be fitted for a tuxedo, receive one of the groomsmen gifts, attend the rehearsal and dinner afterwards, and stand up with the groom during the marriage service. Single brothers will be pleased to hear that they are also responsible for escorting a pretty young bridesmaid up the aisle during the recessional.

At times the brother of the bride might end up taking on a more important role in the wedding. If their father has passed away, it would be very appropriate and touching for the bride’s brother to be the one to walk her down the aisle and give her away. It is also very nice if you give a brief toast at the reception. Keep it brief and congratulatory; you surely know all sorts of embarrassing stories about your sister, but the wedding toast is not the time to bring them up!

With a little more involvement, the bride’s brother might actually find that her wedding can be a good time. You also have the pleasure of gaining a new brother, and if you are single, meeting some attractive women (weddings often breed more weddings, you know). In the end, you might just come to discover that being the brother of the bride is not so bad after all.

Find the Best Wedding Service

When you begin your wedding planning, keep customer service in the forefront of your mind. Ask around for recommendations from recently married friends. Did they have a vendor that they loved? One that drove them nuts? Remember that you deserve not only a beautiful finished product, but a pleasant experience as well. It doesn’t matter if someone is the biggest name in the business if they treat you like you are small potatoes!

Another good way to find good customer service in the bridal industry is by reading reviews online. Let’s say that you are shopping for a set of crystal bridal jewelry. Look for a website that is rated by Yahoo or another service, and take the time to read the reviews. If they are all good, you can feel comfortable that you are in good hands. You can also get a sense of the quality of the service by reading the fine print. Do they have a clear and fair return policy? Does the store offer to customize your bridal jewelry or send you a crystal sample for color matching? Above all, make sure that the store has their phone number prominently listed on their site, as it means that they are happy to take your calls.

These days brides do a lot of research on the big wedding websites. Most have local discussion boards, which can be another good resource for getting a feel for prospective vendors. An important thing to keep in mind is that when you are planning a wedding, it is inevitable that some things will go wrong. The thing that you really want to pay attention to is how the vendor handled the problem. Does the reviewer say that they left multiple messages without a return call? That is a very good reason to choose a different vendor. If, however, a bride says that her florist handled a mix-up promptly and graciously, then you have found a winner.

The time that it takes to check referrals and do research will be time well spent in the end. Having wedding vendors who are courteous, professional, and who actually love what they do will make your wedding a pleasure to plan instead of a chore. And that is the kind of customer service that every bride deserves.

Avoid this Wedding Argument!

Planning your wedding should be a happy and joyful time. There is one thing that can turn bridal bliss into one big headache, and that is fights about money. These are some tips on how to avoid this number one wedding argument, and to emerge from the wedding planning with your sanity and relationships intact.

The best way to avoid having disputes about money and finances is to have a frank discussion about it very soon after becoming engaged. This conversation needs to take place before a single vendor is booked, and it should first take place between the bride and groom. You need to decide between yourselves what your vision is for the perfect wedding, and then you can start to think about what kind of budget it will take to make it a reality.

When a couple is a bit older and more established in their careers, they will often decide to pay for the lion’s share of the wedding themselves. The reason for doing this is that money equals control. If you are paying for your own wedding, then you will have the freedom to have any type of event that suits you. Suggestions from your parents should be considered, but in the end, the final say will be yours. There are many, many brides and grooms who decide that having a scaled down wedding is well worth it to have the ultimate control of their nuptials.

Another approach is to take into account the size of the guest list that each family will have and to split the expenses accordingly. This can be a particularly fair way to do it when one family is much larger than the other. You will help to avoid tension between the bride and groom’s sides with this equitable version of wedding budgeting.

Keep in mind that there are certain expenses that are not really a part of the wedding itself that are going to fall to the bride’s side. These include the wedding gown, the bridal jewelry, and the bride’s hair and makeup. Talking about money and finances is never easy, but if you go into the wedding planning with a clear view of what you and your families can afford, it will ultimately make everything much more pleasant.

Intimate Weddings in the Age of Technology

There are a variety of ways in which technology can be very helpful for planning a wedding, and yet many of these same tools can spoil some what makes a wedding a special event just for your closest family and friends. For instance, many couples these days set up a wedding website that can be used to share information with their guests. It can be a very useful tool for sharing practical details about hotels, flights, and weather with your guests.

On the other hand, some brides get so carried away that they post pictures of everything from their wedding gown and bridal jewelry to the cake and the centerpieces. This much information leaves nothing for the guests to experience on your wedding day. To keep the anticipation of your wedding high, keep the specific on things like the bridal gown and jewelry to yourself. Don’t steal your own thunder!

Another complaint of many couples is that pictures from their wedding have ended up all over the internet, posted by well-intentioned friends. Not everyone wants to have their pictures posted on sites like Facebook for any number of virtual strangers to look over. If you feel like this would be a violation of your privacy, make it very clear before the wedding that you prefer not to have your wedding photos posted on the social networking sites.

This may seem like it goes without saying, but one other way to avoid letting technology take over your wedding is to leave all of your devices behind when you walk down the aisle. The bride and groom should not spend the wedding reception sending text messages or checking out sports scores on their wireless internet devices. In fact, if you want to up the romance on your honeymoon, this is also good advice. Spend your trip focusing on one another, and let the outside world fade away for a few glorious days.