Secret Wedding Ceremonies

Fans of “The Office” got to watch Pam and Jim have two marriage ceremonies: the “official” one for family and friends, which was preceded by a secret one for just the two of them. Secret wedding ceremonies are not just for television characters; this is something that people actually do in real life. This is what you should know about secret wedding ceremonies, from the why to the when to the how.

Let’s start with the reason why an engaged couple might decide to have a secret wedding ceremony. The most common one is for the same reasons why Pam and Jim had their private vows on “The Office”: you feel as though the wedding day is becoming all about everyone else. So many couples get roped into having the wedding of someone else’s dreams that it increasingly feels like the real reason for the entire day gets lost in the hoopla. Having a private ceremony with just the two of you can be a way to recapture the idea that the whole point of having a wedding is to celebrate the love of the bride and groom as they pledge to spend their lives together.

When having a private exchange of vows, there are several key things to keep in mind. The most important one is that if you truly intend to keep it a secret and let everyone assume that they are watching you tie the knot at the big wedding, the secret must be held very closely. The reality is that “the bride and groom are already married” is way too big a secret for anyone to keep, so your best bet is to share the news with no one. Imagine how offended your immediate family would be to learn that you got married without telling them or inviting them.

Of course, a private marriage ceremony is a monumental occasion, even when you plan to follow it with a large public wedding. It will likely be low-key, but you should still make the effort to make the event special. The bride should wear a pretty dress along with some delicate handcrafted bridal jewelry. The dress worn to the secret vow exchange will likely be much less formal than the main wedding gown, perhaps simply a lovely day dress in your favorite color. Certainly the bride should have a bouquet, and it would be nice to hold your ceremony in a location that is beautiful and meaningful to you, whether that is overlooking a gorgeous lake or right in your own living room.

Grand Cathedral Weddings

If your dream is to have a grand wedding ceremony like something out of a fairy tale, then a cathedral just might be the perfect venue for you. They are unmatched in their soaring grandeur and impressive architecture, and there is no more breathtaking ceremony venue. This is what you need to know to plan the perfect grand cathedral wedding.

In some communities, use of the cathedral may be reserved for parish members, but this is not the case everywhere. St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York, for instance, will open its doors to Catholics from outside of the parish. Something that is important to keep in mind when considering such a famous site for your wedding is that you may not be able to have a private ceremony. This is the case at St. Patrick’s, which does remain open to the general public during wedding ceremonies.  You should also be aware that while a house of worship does not usually charge a fee for its use, there may well be a minimum mandatory “donation”, which can run into a couple of thousand dollars.

A grand setting demands equally grand attire; this is a chance for a bride to choose something really spectacular. The long aisle of a cathedral is the perfect setting for (you guessed it) a cathedral length train. If you prefer a more fitted gown with a shorter train, up the wow factor with a cathedral length veil, which looks absolutely stunning over a beaded sheath cut bridal gown.

The rest of the wedding party will want to look equally fabulous. The bridesmaids should definitely wear floor length dresses, accented with pretty bridesmaid jewelry sets and gorgeous bouquets. Very petite accessories will get swallowed up in a large cathedral, so opt for sets of bridesmaid jewelry with great impact, such as sparkling Swarovski crystals in your wedding colors.

Imagine the scene: grand doors part, a pipe organ plays, and a bride in a fabulous gown glides down a long aisle to a flower-bedecked altar. Now imagine that the bride taking place in a scene straight from a Hollywood spectacular is you. It could be, if you decide to have your wedding ceremony in a marvelous cathedral.

Dividing a Venue into Ceremony and Reception

Your wedding is divided into two distinctive parts: the ceremony and the reception. Each half will have its own unique decorations and character, and this is achieved by the design of the spaces. If you have ever watched a wedding show, you know how important the big reveal is. When the guests arrive at your wedding ceremony, this is the first reveal. The grand entrance of the bride in her long white gown, flowing veil, and stunning bridal jewelry is another big moment. This is followed by the first time that the guests see the reception room, and finally by the newlywed’s big entrance, often made more dramatic by a change to a different bridal gown and set of jewelry.

Each of these moments is a highlight of the wedding, which is why it is important to keep the ceremony and reception feeling separate from one another. If your guests can see the reception space as they are sitting for the ceremony, you will lose much of the impact and drama, no matter how fabulous the decorations are at the reception.

There are a few ways in which you can deal with having your entire event in one room. In many cases, large bolts of fabric can be your best ally. It all depends on the layout of your space. When the guests must pass by the dinner tables on their way to the ceremony seating, pretty fabric can be hung to form a hallway and partition off the reception area from view. When the ceremony has concluded, the fabric panels can be moved to close off the seating for that portion of the wedding, creating the feeling of an entirely different space.

It is common in hotels for one ballroom to be used for the entire wedding. This can work quite well if the hotel has a separate area that you can use for your cocktail hour. Some possibilities include porches, atriums, gardens, or adjacent ballrooms. The guests will leave the room after the service, and the staff will quickly turn it over. In other words, the seating for the ceremony is whisked away and the dinner tables are rushed in to take their place. This works best if your table design is fairly easy to set up, as time will be at a premium. The extra effort will all be worth it when your guests get to be wowed, not once, but twice at your wedding.

Meaningful Rites for Non-Religious Weddings

When a couple begins planning for their wedding ceremony, they will be looking for ways to make it meaningful. If you are being married in a religious ceremony, it is quite easy, as the time-honored rites and rituals will already be in place. Couples who prefer to have a secular service, however, will have to make their own choices about what to include in their ceremony. These are some ideas on how to add meaningful rites to a non-religious marriage ceremony.

One way that many couples decide to make their ceremony personal is by writing their own vows. This can be a wonderful way to express your love for your intended, as well as a chance to talk about just what it is that you find so special about your bride or groom. If you do not have a way with words, you can always turn to beautiful verses of poetry to make your feelings known.

There are a number of rituals that can be included in a wedding ceremony that are not based on any one particular faith. The unity candle is a popular symbolic rite that many brides and grooms choose to have as a part of their marriage ceremony. Each person will hold one candle, which they will use to simultaneously light the flame on another larger candle, representing the idea of two becoming one.

Often in second marriages, there are children from a previous relationship. One idea is for the couple to jointly present the children with gifts of wedding jewelry that symbolize their union as a family, much as the exchange of rings between the bride and groom symbolizes that they are being joined as one. Gifts such as lockets with family photos are particularly appropriate for these symbolic wedding jewelry gifts.

When you are looking for non-religious rituals to include in your wedding, don’t forget to research the customs in your heritage. Many nationalities and ethnic groups have special rites that they traditionally include in marriage ceremonies.

Scenic Outdoor Wedding Sites

Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder, and this is definitely the case when it comes to weddings. For some couples, there is nothing more wonderful than seeing the sun set over the ocean. Another bride and groom might think that a field of wildflowers is the prettiest sight on earth. For winter lovers, what could be more stunning than a towering pines with snow-capped mountains in the distance? Whichever of these styles speaks to you, there will be plenty of terrific venues that offer them.

Almost any natural setting has an unspoiled grace, but some are definitely more gorgeous than others. Look at a location as though you were looking through the lens of a camera. Do you see elements that would have great visual appeal for photo shoots, like bridges over streams, a row of flowering trees, or a country lane covered in a canopy of fiery autumn leaves?  These are the types of elements that will take your wedding location from merely pretty to spectacular.

Once you have found that ideal outdoor wedding location, be sure to play up its best features. Let’s say that you have decided to be married in the fall, with the brilliant leaves of that season as your backdrop. You can emphasize the glorious autumn colors by featuring them in your wedding. Fiery reds, warm yellows, and pumpkin oranges are wonderful colors to use in so many ways for everything from décor to bridesmaid dresses to the bride’s bouquet. Also, be sure to let your photographer know which views are your favorite!

The right backdrop will go a long way towards making your wedding feel even more magical. It is such a momentous occasion that you deserve an equally impressive site. Having an altar with a stunning view is definitely a great idea.

Unity Candles and More

A unity candle is a beautiful addition to a wedding ceremony. The bride and groom each have one small taper candle that they use to light the flame of a larger pillar candle. It symbolizes the union of the two individuals into one, and can also represent the blending of two families.

There are plenty of alternatives to the unity candle, if you are looking for a different ritual with the same type of symbolism. One very pretty option is the sand ritual. The bride and groom will each have a container of colored sand. At some point during the ceremony, the couple will pour their sand into a larger vessel, mixing the two colors of sand as they are combining their lives.

Another custom to consider is to use rope or ribbon that is interwoven and knotted together. The hands of the bride and groom are tied together in a ceremony that is known as handfasting. This is an ancient Celtic tradition, so it would be a nice addition to the wedding service of a couple with Irish or Scottish heritage. Handfasting today is also often used in pagan wedding ceremonies, particularly when the service will be held outside.

When the marriage of the bride and groom will also mean the union of step-children into a blended family, it is a very nice idea to have a portion of the ceremony that involves the children as well as the newlyweds. One of the more popular rituals involves presenting gifts of wedding jewelry from the new step-parent to the child. The wedding jewelry gifts are often pieces with a symbolic design, such as a Celtic knot, or a sentimental piece like a locket with a portrait of the new blended family inside.

These are just a few of the unity rituals that you can include in your wedding. Most cultures will have their own customs, so take the time to look into the traditional rites of your own heritage. If none of the traditional rituals feel just right for your wedding ceremony, feel free to invent your own ritual to commemorate your union as husband and wife.

Deciding Who Will Walk You Down the Aisle

In most American weddings, the bride’s father is the one to walk her down the aisle. It is a special ritual, as it often ends with the father “giving away” his daughter to her new husband when they reach the altar. If the bride is wearing a blusher, the father may be the one to push it back, as he gives his little girl a parting kiss on the cheek.

The walk down the aisle is an enduring father-daughter ritual that is one part of the whole special bond between them during the wedding process. There are other parts of the wedding that can also be very sentimental for a father and daughter. When I was planning my wedding, my father wanted me to have some special pearl bridal jewelry to wear on my big day. One of my fondest memories is when my father presented me with the pearl bridal jewelry he had chosen right before left for the church. The father-daughter dance during the reception is also another highlight of the wedding.

This is all great if the bride has a father available to her. But some brides have fathers who have passed away, or who are not a part of their lives for some other reason. This can make what should be a very happy moment into a bittersweet one for brides feeling the loss of a dad, whether he is living or not. There are, however, some other options for choosing the right person to accompany you down the aisle.

Many brides will choose another male relative if their father is unavailable. The bride’s grandfather, uncle, or step-father are all excellent choices, as is a brother. The question of the step-father can be a thorny one if the bride’s dad is still in the picture, but she was raised by her step-dad. In cases like that, you have to follow your heart.

Not only men have the privilege of escorting a bride down the aisle, by the way. In the Jewish faith, it is traditional for the mother and father of the groom to walk with him down the aisle, and for both parents to accompany the bride as well. This is a lovely custom, as it emphasizes the role of both parents in raising their children.

In the end, choosing the person who will walk you down the aisle is an entirely personal choice. Whether you choose, to have your father, mother, both parents, or even to walk alone, the key is to do what will make you feel most comfortable. At least you know that when you walk back up the aisle, it will be arm in arm with your new husband!

Selecting Readings for Your Wedding

One of the most meaningful parts of the wedding ceremony is the readings. It is a chance for the bride and groom to personalize their wedding, so you will want to choose the passages carefully. You can also invite a close friend or family member to do a reading, which is quite an honor.

In many wedding ceremonies, the couple will follow a fairly standard format. If you are having a religious service, your readings might well be your only chance to put anything of yourself into the ceremony. In many churches, you will be given a list of suggested readings, which are usually Biblical passages. The bride and groom will then get the chance to select the two of them that they feel best suit them and their relationship.

If you have the freedom to choose your own readings, it can be both a great opportunity and a bit overwhelming. Where to begin? Well, the idea is to have the reading reflect something about you as a couple. It could be a poem that you both love, or a passage from a book. You could choose words or a story that will tell the guests something about your relationship. If you are stumped, try looking at a book of classic love letters or romantic poems.

When you are having a small wedding, it can be wonderful to invite all of the guests to participate in the readings. You can pass out sections from a poem, and ask each guest to read a line in turn. You can also try a call and response reading, where the officiant leads the way, and the assembled guests read a response. It is very meaningful to have the guests take part in your wedding.

Although it is not mandatory, it might be nice to give your reader a small gift of thanks. For instance, if you are giving pearl bridesmaid jewelry to your attendants, then while you are shopping, you could pick up a little something for your readers. The gift could be similar to the one you give your attendants, but perhaps done on a smaller scale. So if you have chosen complete sets of bridesmaid jewelry for your attendants, you might give your reader a simple pearl pendant.

Give yourself plenty of time to select the readings for your wedding ceremony. The readings are a part of the wedding that the bride and groom should definitely decide on together. It is a nice time to reflect on yourselves as a couple, as well as on your upcoming marriage.