How to Make Travel Easy for Your Wedding Guests

Send Save the Date Cards. One of the best things you can do to make travel easy for your out-of-town guests is to give them as much advance notice as possible. Wedding invitations are traditionally mailed six to eight weeks before the event, and that might not be enough time for some people to schedule time off from work, shop for a dress and wedding jewelry, get the best price on plane tickets, book a hotel room, and so on. This goes double if your wedding will be over a holiday weekend like Memorial Day or Labor Day.

Book a Block of Hotel Rooms. This is one of the most helpful things that the hosts of a wedding can do for their guests. You can do all the legwork researching which hotels will be the most convenient to the wedding venue, saving your guests the hassle. Another excellent reason to book a block of hotel rooms is to get a group rate for your family and friends. It also ensures that everyone will actually be able to get a hotel room, which can be a problem at popular times of the year. You may need to book earlier than you expect, in some cases up to a year before your wedding!

Arrange for Transportation From the Airport. While some of your guests will surely rent cars, it is very thoughtful to arrange for transportation from the airport to the hotel whenever possible. This is especially true for elderly guests like grandparents. Enlist a few local friends to run a shuttle service between the airport and the hotel where most of your guests will be staying. If this is impractical, find out about hotel shuttle vans and airport limo services and post the information on your wedding website.

Offer a Shuttle to the Wedding. When most of your guests are staying at one hotel, it is a fairly easy thing to hire a bus or several vans to take them to your wedding venue. It is a marvelous convenience, especially if you are having your wedding in a big city that can be hard to navigate. A shuttle van can also be a more eco-friendly means of transportation than every couple driving their own car, especially if you hire a biodiesel bus. Last, but definitely not least, a shuttle drastically reduces the risk of guests drinking and driving at your wedding. Everyone will be able to relax and enjoy your wedding, knowing that their considerate hosts have made all the transportation arrangements.

What to Do About Your Bridesmaids’ Boyfriends

When planning a wedding, it can turn into a real numbers game, especially where the budget becomes an issue. Many brides struggle with whether or not they have to invite the boyfriends of their bridesmaids (or girlfriends of their groomsmen) to the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, and so forth. And if they are invited, how do you seat them for the wedding dinner? These questions and more about dealing the with bridal party’s significant others are answered here.

Traditionally speaking, a bride never has to invite a person “and guest” to her wedding. It is mandatory to invite the spouses of all guests, including the bridal party. Where things get dicey is the gray area: boyfriends or girlfriends of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. A good rule of thumb is that if anyone in your wedding party has a live in partner, that person should be invited to the wedding. When it comes to the dates of the rest of the wedding party, you should also definitely ask any long-term boyfriends or girlfriends to attend.

The wedding party, should not however, bring “dates”, people with whom they do not have an ongoing relationship, because they will not get to spend much time with them during the wedding anyway. Remember that as the bridesmaids are marching down the aisle in their beautiful dresses and bridesmaid jewelry, their dates will be sitting alone in the pews. In many cases, the bridal party will sit at a head table without their dates, so once again, the person they brought will be without them. This is why inviting a casual date to a wedding is always a bad idea for a member of the bridal party.

Once the bride and groom have reached a decision about where to draw the line about significant others, they then need to think about how best to include those guests in the wedding festivities. It is only reasonable for the significant other of a bridesmaid or groomsmen to be invited to the rehearsal dinner if they are invited to the wedding, especially if the event will be out of town. When possible, try to seat the wedding party with their significant others at the wedding reception, or at least nearby. The members of your bridal party are sure to appreciate your effort to show consideration for their partners and themselves.

How to Be a Perfect Wedding Guest

There is much written about weddings to help the bride and groom, but what about the guests? The people who attend a wedding have a lot to do with how pleasant the event turns out to be, both for the bride and groom and the rest of the guests. This is how to be a perfect wedding guest.

R.s.v.p. Promptly. Always respond to a wedding invitation in a timely fashion. If there is a specific “please respond by” date given, then by all means, please respond by that date. The busy couple will be grateful to have one less person to try to track down at the last minute!

Send a Gift Ahead. Hey, everyone loves getting gifts, and no bride or groom will turn up their nose at a present which is brought to the wedding reception. However, it is technically not correct to bring a gift to the wedding itself, nor is it particularly sensible. Not only do you have to deal with dragging a gift around until you can find a place for it at the reception, but then someone has to keep an eye on it (sad but true, gifts have been stolen from weddings), and transport it somewhere after the wedding without losing the card which gives the name of the donor. Save everyone a lot of hassle and send the gift to the bride’s home before the wedding.

Dress for the Occasion. If you have ever seen anyone wearing sneakers at a wedding (I have!), you will understand why I must state the obvious. A wedding is a festive occasion, so please dress like it. This means wearing something which is both dressy and cheerful. Yes, a black cocktail dress is a wardrobe staple, but a dress with some color to it is really better for a wedding. Add in the jewelry and accessories which will make your outfit come to life, such as sparkly Swarovski crystal earrings, a beaded clutch, and a pair of killer heels.

Have Fun. Seriously. Even if the band is lousy, your chicken was cold, and you are in the middle of a bad breakup, you owe it to the bride and groom to be pleasant and upbeat during their wedding. Before you know it, you may just find yourself having a terrific time, and that would make you an ideal wedding guest.

Dealing with Rude Wedding Guests

Unfortunately, it is a fact of life: at every wedding there are going to be a few guests who are thoughtless, inconsiderate, or downright rude. There is no need to let a few irritating people detract from how much you enjoy your wedding, however. Here are the most common issues that couples face with rude wedding guests, and how to deal with them with a smile on your face.

Some guests do not intend to cause any trouble, yet manage to be very aggravating. These are the people are can’t seem to do anything or get anywhere on time. They do not return their response cards by the requested date, don’t return follow up phone calls, and some will even turn up at the wedding without ever bothering to R.s.v.p. that they are coming! By the time the day of the wedding rolls around, you may well be so annoyed that you no longer even care if they come. Leave a  polite message letting them know that the caterer is demanding a final head count by Saturday, and if you do not hear back, you will assume they are unable to attend.

The couple should not delay their ceremony to accommodate late guests unless it is a member of the wedding party or a very close relative (mother, wait; aunt, the show must go on). It is not fair to all of the other guests who were considerate enough to be on time. Once the last guest has been seated, anyone else who arrives should wait until after the processional to enter the ceremony site. At that point, the latecomer can slip into a seat in the last row, or simply stand quietly in the back.

Another type of guest who steals the bride’s thunder  is the guest who shows up looking so dramatic that all eyes will be upon her all night. You know the one; she is wearing a backless cocktail dress with enough wedding jewelry up for the entire bridal party. Or the aunt who insists on wearing her $50,000 diamond and sapphire suite of jewelry to a simple afternoon wedding in the bride’s backyard. If you are the bride, the only thing to do is to smile; don’t waste a second of your time worrying about the other person stealing your spotlight, because no one can outshine a bride on her wedding day.

Hosting Out of Town Wedding Guests

With families and friends scattered far and wide these days, you are likely to end up with quite a few guests who are traveling in from out of town. Often times these visitors will want to come a few days before the wedding, which may leave you wondering how to entertain them while finalizing your wedding plans. These are some tips about hosting out of town wedding guests.

First of all, do not agree to have company stay at your house if it will increase your stress level. You will have enough to do without feeling like you have to clean your house and cook gourmet meals for guests. Help them out by booking a block of rooms at a nearby hotel so that all of your wedding guests can get the best rate. For bridesmaids and groomsmen, it is ideal if you can find a friend with a guest room so that they do not have to pay for a hotel room on top of the other expenses that come with being in a wedding.

When it is your immediate family coming in a few days before your wedding, the best way to occupy them is to put them to work! Most relatives will be thrilled to be useful, and there are many last minute tasks and errands that they can help to take off of the bride and groom’s plate. Do you need someone to go pick up your wedding dress, veil, and jewelry? Great, Aunt Susie can do it so you can get ready for the rehearsal. Do you want to have your wedding ring and other jewelry freshly cleaned so it sparkles at your ceremony? Send your mom to do it while you get your manicure. Other family can be asked to pitch in to help assemble programs, pick up tuxes, and retrieve other incoming guests from the airport.

For those guests whom you will not be putting to work, it is a good idea to give them some ideas for activities that they may enjoy. You will be far too busy in the last moments before your wedding to play tour guide, so your best bet is to spend some time well before your wedding putting together a list of suggestions for your guests. Things to include might be: information on local museums, shopping and restaurants, walking tours, and anything else special to your area, whether it is wine tasting in Napa Valley or taking a whale watching boat tour off of Cape Cod. This is your chance to share with your friends and family whatever you love best about the place that you live.

Down to the Wire Wedding Planning

No matter how organized you are, there will always be numerous last minute things to be done before your wedding. If you have not been a super-organized planner, well, there will be even more things that need to be checked off of your list in the final weeks before you walk down the aisle. Lest you get to your wedding day with some important loose end left hanging, here is a guide to down-to-the-wire wedding planning.

If you do only one thing from this list, it should be to get your final head count to the wedding caterer on time (the exact deadline will vary by caterer, but it is usually about a week before the wedding date). The last thing that you want is to end up with too few dinners or paying for extra meals that go to waste. At least a week before your head count is due, either the bride her mother, or the maid of honor needs to get on the phone to track down any guests who have not yet responded.

Something else which is not usually done until the final days before the wedding is making the programs and wrapping the wedding favors. If at all possible, save yourself some stress and try to get these two things done at least three weeks before the wedding. You would not believe how many brides stay up late the night before their weddings assembling programs (it invariably takes longer than you expect).

When you are handling the last minute details, don’t forget about planning a bridesmaids’ luncheon. The ladies’ luncheon is usually held two or three days before the wedding, and it is the perfect time to thank all of your attendants for being in your wedding and to give them their bridesmaid gifts. If the bridesmaid gifts are something that you would like them to wear in your wedding, like a piece of jewelry, you might decide to present them to your attendants before the luncheon so that they will know they do not need to buy any special accessories for the wedding.

Finally, in the rush before your wedding, remember that you have to be prepared to leave for a honeymoon. Make sure that your bags are packed, someone is assigned to water the plants and collect the mail, and that your tickets and passports are handy. With all of the details for your wedding in place, you should be able to relax and actually enjoy the day!

Gracious Ways to Handle a Wedding “B” List

It is a fact of life: when you are planning a wedding, you can rarely invite everyone that you would like to. Either the budget is too small, the venue is too tight, or your family is just too big. One way that some couples handle this dilemma is by grouping their wedding guest lists into “A”s and “B”s.

In a nutshell, the “A” list is the group of people that you will definitely be inviting to your wedding. This group usually includes your immediate family, attendants, close friends, and the random people that your parents insist on inviting to your wedding because they are paying for it. The “B” list will typically be people that you would like to have, space permitting. “B” lists are generally populated by people such as more recently acquired friends, old college chums you haven’t seen in a while, and your co-workers.

As the R.s.v.p.s start to roll in from the first set of invitations, you can invite one person from the “B” list for each declined invitation.  The wedding invitations need to be sent out to the “A” list well in advance of your wedding date, usually at least 8 weeks, but sometimes even more. Where it gets dicey is that you have to finagle responses from all of the guests on your “A” list much earlier than usual – four weeks before the wedding at the minimum. If people ask why you need to have your answers so early, blame the caterer; whatever you do, never let on that you have a “B” list waiting in the wings.

Some people find the idea of two separate guest lists to be highly offensive. If you feel this way, then there are a few other paths that you can take. One of the nicest things that a couple can do is to scale back on the luxury of the wedding to be able to include everyone who is near and dear to them. Maybe you have to have your reception in a mid-range hotel instead of a ritzy private club, but in the end, you may find that who you have at your wedding is more important than where you have it.

Other couples will find other cost-cutting solutions to be able to expand their guest list. For instance, you can have a brunch instead of a sit-down evening reception. Another way to cut expenses is to order your bridesmaid jewelry sets online. You can find truly beautiful handcrafted bridesmaid jewelry sets made from Swarovksi crystals and freshwater pearls – they will look like a splurge, but can actually be very affordable bridesmaid gifts.

Whether you decide to have a two part guest list, or simply to cut your expenses so you can expand your guest list, the key is to be gracious. If you do have an “A” and a “B” list, be careful to keep that piece of information private. As long as you make all of your guests feel welcome and wanted, your wedding is sure to be a fabulous success.

Be a Great Wedding Guest!

Being invited to be a witness to a marriage is a great honor. Observing wedding etiquette is not only for the bride and groom; wedding guests also should keep certain things in mind.

First and foremost, send in your response to the invitation promptly. If you have never planned a wedding, you may not realize what a terrible hassle it is for a bride to be hunting down guests at the last minute to see if they are coming or not.

For the ceremony, guests should plan to show up a little before the starting time of the service. This allows plenty of time to be seated before the processional begins. (If you are late, wait until after the bride has made her way down the aisle, and then quietly slip into a seat in the back.) Remember to turn off your cell phone!

A good wedding guest should never, ever do anything to draw attention away from the bride. A key component of this is dressing appropriately. The thoughtful guest selects wedding attire and wedding jewelry that is festive, well-kept, and appropriate to the formality and location of the event.

Whatever you do, do not bring uninvited guests along. This includes your four legged friends! Then just remember to relax and have a great time at the wedding.