Including a Dress Code on Your Wedding Invitations

Who needs a wedding dress code? More people than may realize it. For instance, your wedding venue might require that gentlemen wear jackets to dinner. How embarrassing it would be for a male guest who showed up wearing a nice shirt and tie without a jacket, only to be turned away or forced to wear an ill-fitting loaner from the venue’s coat closet! It would be much better to add a simple notation like “jackets required” or “formal attire” in the lower right hand of the invitation than to risk having one of your guests be humiliated.

Very casual weddings can actually need stated dress codes as well, to ensure the comfort of the guests. If you are having a beach wedding, your guests might appreciate being forewarned that the ceremony will be on the sand so they know to leave their high heels at home. Having a very relaxed reception around a bonfire? Print the words “casual attire” on your invitation so that people show up dressed comfortably. The last thing you want is for guests to be dressed in such fancy clothing that they cannot relax and enjoy the festivities which you have planned.

Then there is a black tie wedding. Traditionally reserved for weddings which start at 6pm or later, black tie is the most formal wedding other than white tie (which should only be held on winter evenings and are exceedingly rare). There is a lot of angst among brides about whether is it acceptable to put the notation “Black tie” on their wedding invitations. Many brides or their mothers fear that to request black tie will mean that people won’t want to come or that their guests will be put out by the hassle and expense of renting or purchasing a tuxedo. You know your family and friends; if it would not be completely outrageous for them to dress formally, go ahead and request black tie attire if that is what you really want.

The dress code “Black tie optional” has become widely accepted on wedding invitations, but personally I think it is a bad idea. Why? Because then nobody knows how to dress. Your female guests will be left to agonize over whether to wear a floor length dress with opulent crystal wedding jewelry or something shorter and less fancy. The men will be wondering if they will be the only guy to show up in a tuxedo…or the only guy to show up without a tux. Spare your guests the guesswork, and simply request black tie if that is your desire. Otherwise, put no notation regarding attire, and trust your guests to dress appropriately based on the time and location of your wedding.

Wedding Invitation FAQs

How do I choose a style? Your wedding invitations should match the general style of your wedding. In other words, if you are having a traditional wedding down to wearing your mother’s pearl bridal jewelry, your invitations should reflect that. Black engraving on white or ecru cotton paper will be perfect to convey a feeling of elegance and tradition. Having your wedding in an urban loft? Select a contemporary invitation, such as a square paper in a color with bold sans-serif printing.

What is the difference between engraving, thermography, letterpress, and flat (or offset) printing? Engraving is the most traditional means to put lettering on a formal piece of stationery. It is very upscale and elegant, with a price to match. The wording is etched onto a copper plate and then run through a press with ink and paper. Thermography is a more recent printing method which consists of ink mixed with a powder designed to mimic the raised lettering of engraving. Some people like thermography for making an invitation look formal at a lower cost than engraving, but in some circles, it is considered to be in poor taste. Letterpress is a very popular style of printing for invitations that can look either retro or contemporary. Due to its labor intensive process, it can cost as much as engraving. Flat printing or offset printing is the one type of lettering which does not create either raised or indented lettering. Very affordable and versatile, it is ideal for all but the most formal invitations, and is easy to do at home with a high quality printer.

Should I use “the honour of your presence” or “the pleasure of your company” when issuing a wedding invitation? This one is quite straightforward: the honour of your presence (usually written with the British spelling “honour”) is used to indicate that the ceremony is to take place in a house of worship. For any other venue, the pleasure of your company is the appropriate choice.

How do I word my invitation to make clear who is paying for the wedding? You don’t. Traditionally the bride and groom’s parents are considered to be the hosts of a wedding, which is why the invitation is issued in their names. The parents of the groom may also be included, as is customary in Europe, but none of it has anything to do with who is paying the bills. If the bride and groom prefer to act as hosts, as in the case of a second wedding, it is done so by omitting the host line. “The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of…” instead of “Mr. and Mrs. Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of…”.

What to Do About Your Bridesmaids’ Boyfriends

When planning a wedding, it can turn into a real numbers game, especially where the budget becomes an issue. Many brides struggle with whether or not they have to invite the boyfriends of their bridesmaids (or girlfriends of their groomsmen) to the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, and so forth. And if they are invited, how do you seat them for the wedding dinner? These questions and more about dealing the with bridal party’s significant others are answered here.

Traditionally speaking, a bride never has to invite a person “and guest” to her wedding. It is mandatory to invite the spouses of all guests, including the bridal party. Where things get dicey is the gray area: boyfriends or girlfriends of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. A good rule of thumb is that if anyone in your wedding party has a live in partner, that person should be invited to the wedding. When it comes to the dates of the rest of the wedding party, you should also definitely ask any long-term boyfriends or girlfriends to attend.

The wedding party, should not however, bring “dates”, people with whom they do not have an ongoing relationship, because they will not get to spend much time with them during the wedding anyway. Remember that as the bridesmaids are marching down the aisle in their beautiful dresses and bridesmaid jewelry, their dates will be sitting alone in the pews. In many cases, the bridal party will sit at a head table without their dates, so once again, the person they brought will be without them. This is why inviting a casual date to a wedding is always a bad idea for a member of the bridal party.

Once the bride and groom have reached a decision about where to draw the line about significant others, they then need to think about how best to include those guests in the wedding festivities. It is only reasonable for the significant other of a bridesmaid or groomsmen to be invited to the rehearsal dinner if they are invited to the wedding, especially if the event will be out of town. When possible, try to seat the wedding party with their significant others at the wedding reception, or at least nearby. The members of your bridal party are sure to appreciate your effort to show consideration for their partners and themselves.

Summer Wedding Invitations

Your wedding invitations do much more than convey the basic facts of your event; they also help to set a tone, establish a theme, and will be the first impression that your guests get of your wedding. Summer weddings are very special, and they deserve equally special invitations. From formal to casual to themed, here are some of the best ideas for summer wedding invitations.

Summer weddings are often less formal than winter affairs. If this is true for you, let your invitations be fun and relaxed too. For an outdoor wedding, a creamy cardstock with a letterpress parasol motif in shades of orange and hot pink would be pretty. Other motif ideas include Adirondack chairs, daisies, or paper lanterns. The casual motif is particularly nice when done in letterpress rather than a flat printing, as it keeps the stationery special enough for a wedding, and avoids looking like an invitation to a barbeque.

If you are having a formal summer evening wedding, you will want your invitations to be as elegant as your silk gown and Swarovski crystal earrings. One of the hottest colors for formal weddings this season is charcoal gray. Engraved wedding stationery with charcoal lettering would be chic enough for even the most grand affair. If you want to add some punch to formal invitations, opt for a tri-fold design, and wrap a deep red satin ribbon around them. The dramatic red is a nice contrast to the subdued gray tone.

For a modern twist, choose flat printed invitations on a square card. Don’t be afraid to experiment with asymmetrical designs, such as a stripe on one side of the stationery. The hippest invitations will use this season’s hot colors turquoise and coral. Utterly summery, bold and delightful, they make a terrific color palette for a modern wedding. Sans-serif lettering looks best with this style of invitation. Allow your wedding invitations to express your style and the tone of your wedding, and they are sure to be absolutely perfect.

Tailoring Wedding Stationery to Your Theme

The invitations and other stationery which you choose for your wedding will help to set the tone. When you have a special theme or location, the invitations can be a great way to introduce your wedding to your guests. These are some tips on tailoring your wedding stationery to your theme.

Beach theme weddings are among the favorites of brides everywhere. Whether you will be heading off to a sunswept destination for your wedding, or simply putting on some great beach wedding jewelry and carrying a tropical bouquet in your backyard, there are some very special beach invitations available. Think about the type of beach wedding you intend to have – is is more classic with simple pearl jewelry and a tailored strapless dress on a New England beach with a lobster dinner on the sand, or it is going to be at a Caribbean resort, complete with steel drums and drinks in coconuts? For the first style, classic white invitations embellished with a red engraved lobster across the top would be ideal, or go with an invitation embellished with a bright hibiscus for the tropical wedding.

Winter Wonderland weddings are another hot theme, and one which translates easily into wedding invitations. Select crisp white stationery which is decorated with silver snowflakes. One of the prettiest versions of this would be to print the invitations on vellum laid over a snowflake patterned paper. Tie it together with a festive metallic silver ribbon or a red velvet bow for the perfect finishing touch. For your save the dates, what about using antique postcards depicting horse drawn sleighs in the snow? Simply lovely.

Having a vineyard wedding? Invite your guests with style! The most restrained option would be an invitation which features an engraved image of a bunch of grapes across the top (somehow a picture of a bottle of wine just does not feel bridal enough). Or get really creative, and design your wedding stationery to resemble vintage wine labels. This would be a wonderful way to really get your wedding theme across in a fun manner. Your guests will surely be in the spirit of things when they receive these special and unique invitations.

Wedding Invitation Motifs

Your wedding invitation is your first chance to set the tone for your event. The style that you choose will give your guests a sneak peek into what your wedding will be like, especially if you have a special theme. One of the best ways to personalize your wedding invitations is with a signature motif.

First think about the basics of your wedding. Will it be formal? Then choose a very small motif. Have it either engraved in gold ink or blind embossed for even more subtlety. A formal wedding calls for a traditional and symmetrical invitation, as well, so you will want to place your motif on the top border of your invitation, right in the center.

Less formal weddings can accommodate more eclectic uses of motifs. You could even choose stationery which has your design printed on it, and the invitation wording printed on a vellum overlay. For example, if you were having a destination wedding, complete with a breezy wedding gown and beach wedding jewelry, a fantastic invitation would be an image of a sandy beach or a large tropical flower. If the invitation shows the beach scene, tie the vellum layer on with a piece of raffia, or use a pretty fuchsia ribbon over the tropical flower image.

A simple way to use a pretty design for a semi-formal wedding is to print, engrave, or letterpress it onto the paper in a color. You can really have a lot of fun picking your motif. Choose one that ties in directly with your wedding theme, or select a design that reflects something personal. A good example of this would be a monogram or a family crest (either real, or invented). Or if the bride and groom are both Texans, a small image of a pair of cowboy boots would be fun on the invitations. You can also design an entirely custom motif that will start on your wedding stationery and be carried throughout the rest of the wedding.

Adorning your wedding invitations with a special motif or theme is a wonderful way to introduce your guests to the style of your wedding. It will also add personality to your stationery and help to set it apart from the basic invitations that many couples use. A custom motif is one of those small details that can add so much to a wedding.

Wedding Saving Ideas: Smart or Tacky?

Saving money has become a national obsession. Conspicuous consumption is out and living a more sensible lifestyle is in. And yet, when you are planning a wedding, it can be difficult to know how to cut corners without cutting style. These are some of the common ways in which brides try to save money on their weddings; I will help you learn which ones are smart and which ideas will look tacky.

Saving idea #1: Wedding invitations. Fine engraving and letterpress are extremely beautiful but also extremely expensive, so it is only natural that brides would look for ways to save on the wedding stationery. But your invitation is also the first impression that your guests will have of your wedding, so you want it to be a good one. Smart way to save: printing your own invitations on nice paper with a high quality printer. Tacky: hoping your guests will be fooled into thinking that thermographed invitations were engraved; they won’t be.

Saving idea #2: Wedding accessories. Once you have found your dream wedding gown, you will want to finish it off with some gorgeous accessories. Diamonds from Tiffany’s are not in everyone’s budget however; nonetheless you want to have some fabulous sparkle for your wedding day. Smart way to save: crystal bridal jewelry. With its dazzling sparkle, bridal jewelry created from Swarovski crystal will give you just the glamor you crave. Tacky: trying to pass off a child’s costume tiara as a real one. (I have actually seen this done; it was dreadful.)

Saving idea #3: Reception libations. The bar bill can add up quickly at a wedding reception, especially if you have a fun loving crowd. It can be difficult to balance the desire to throw a great party with the need to keep expenses manageable. Smart way to save: offer a signature cocktail or hold a brunch reception. A signature cocktail will add style to your reception, but it can also keep the alcohol costs down as compared to a full open bar. To save even more, have an early morning ceremony followed by a brunch reception, when most people will order very few alcoholic drinks. Tacky: cash bar. It is far better to serve what you can afford graciously than to demand that your guests pay for their own refreshments. Unless your reception is being held at a frat party, just don’t do it. It is possible to save money on your wedding while still maintaining the style and dignity of the event.

Wedding Stationery Terms

When you are shopping for your wedding stationery, you may feel like a fish out of water. Here is a glossary of the wedding stationery terms that you will need to know to make choosing the perfect invitations a snap.

Engraving: This refers to a printing process in which a copper plate is engraved with your wedding invitation wording, inked, and run through a press to print the lettering onto the stationery. Engraving is easily identified by its raised lettering. The back of an engraved invitation will have an indentation behind the words, which is an easy way to distinguish it from thermography. It is true that engraving is costly, due to the step of making a unique etched copper plate for your order, but it is also the most elegant form of lettering. For a formal wedding or traditional wedding with the bride in a classic gown and pearl bridal jewelry, engraving is the best choice.

Letterpress: This style of printing has been around for hundreds of years, but it has only become popular for wedding invitations in the last decade or so. Letterpress is a technique in which moveable pieces of type are hand arranged in a printing press, and then the paper is rolled over it with a heavy roller. It is perhaps not quite as labor intensive as engraving, but it is close, and the pricing is fairly comparable as well. Letterpress invitations are very popular with brides who want a chic and contemporary look for their stationery, while still having the fine craftsmanship that has made engraving the gold standard for generations.

Thermography: Another technique in which the wedding invitation wording can be transferred to the paper. Thermography consists of an ink being printed over a fine powder to give the lettering a raised look. It is intended to mimic engraving, although anyone familiar with fine stationery will immediately know the difference. The telltale signs of “fake engraving” include no indentations on the reverse of the paper, shiny ink, and some subtle unevenness of the lettering. Being a machine made process, thermography is considerably less expensive than engraving or letterpress, although for a discriminating bride, that may not be reason enough to cut corners on her invitations. Old-fashioned etiquette mavens will say that if you want to save money, simple but honest flat printing is better than trying to mimic engraving with thermography.

Now that you are an expert on wedding stationery, get out there and start shopping for those perfect invitations!