Wedding R.s.v.p. Options
Every bride knows that getting an accurate headcount is absolutely mandatory for a wedding reception. Why is it then, that some guests do not seem to understand the importance of responding promptly to a wedding invitation? Over the years, couples have tried all different sorts of ideas for getting their potential guests to R.s.v.p. to their weddings; this is a look at the pros and cons of the various options.
The most traditional way to request a response to an invitation is to state it on the wedding invitation. In the lower left hand of the invitation, place the notation “A favour of a reply is requested” (the British spelling of favour is used to be consistent with invitation wording requesting the “honour of your presence”) or R.s.v.p. Sometimes a date by which replies are needed is also included. When this method is used, it is up to the guests to write a note indicating whether they will accept or decline the invitation. Believe it or not, it usually works pretty well, and it is the most elegant approach, perfect for the bride whose taste runs to the classics like roses, Vivaldi, and pearl bridal jewelry.
Not trusting their family and friends to write a letter, most couples these days include a separate reply card with the wedding invitation. It may be a small card with a self-addressed stamped envelope or a stamped postcard to cut down on costs. Most reply cards will have a deadline on them (after all, if you don’t trust people to write a note, they can’t be trusted to mail back a card in a timely fashion). There are various forms in which the reply cards may be made out, but typically they will have a space for the guest to fill in their names, note whether they are accepting or declining, and a space to write in the number of people from their party attending. Some reply cards also have a space to mark a box indicating the preferred dinner selection.
In modern times, brides and grooms have become comfortable doing a lot of their wedding planning online. The rise in popularity of personalized wedding websites has also given rise to a new high-tech form of R.s.v.p., which is the online response. While this can be very efficient and cost effective, you also run the risk of confusing less computer savvy guests, especially from the older generation. For that reason, an entirely electronic R.s.v.p. format is not advisable. If you choose to request that people reply to your wedding website, also include a telephone number on the invitation so guests have another option to respond to your invitation.
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The manner in which you have your guests respond to your wedding should make sense with the overall tone of the affair. By this I mean that a formal wedding calls for a more traditional response format, while other options might be appropriate for a more casual wedding. For instance, if you are having a very traditional wedding in a grand hotel, wearing classic pearl bridal jewelry and a custom lace gown, it would be entirely out of place to ask your guests to respond by email. On the other hand, if you were having thirty of your closest friends for a picnic in your backyard following a five minute wedding ceremony, such a response might be just fine.
One things that many brides do not seem to realize is that it is not necessary to include any type of response card with a wedding invitation. Although they are now very common, traditionally wedding invitations were issued with the assumption that everyone knows that a formal invitation requires a reply. To nudge the guests along, a discreet “R.s.v.p.” or “The favour of a reply is requested” is engraved in the lower left corner of the invitation. The guest then sends a note to the return address on the invitation envelope indicating whether or not they will be able to attend. Think this will not work? This is exactly what I did for my wedding, and I had no problem at all with guests not responding.
For those who wish to include a wedding response card, there are two basic options. There is the small card with a self-addressed stamped envelope or there is the postcard. Online R.s.v.p. requests are an up-and-coming wedding trend. It is generally not advisable to go this route if you have a multi-generational guest list, as many of the older guests will not feel comfortable with an online response format. Couples who are thinking about going this route may wish to offer it on an R.s.v.p. postcard for guests who prefer to register their attendance online. It may not save you the cost of postage, but at least you will make sure that it is possible for all of your guests to reply to the wedding invitation in a way which makes them feel comfortable.
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