Jilted at the Altar!

It is every bride or groom’s worst nightmare: to be jilted at the altar. Fortunately, it is a very rare occurrence. On the outside chance that it happens to you or someone you love, here is what you need to know…

What is the protocol? The first step is for a family member (usually one related to the party who has backed out) has to make an announcement to the assembled guests that the wedding will not be taking place as planned. After the initial shock dies down, it is up to your families whether or not you want the reception to take place. It is not uncommon in these situations for the guests to be invited to attend the reception, because frankly, at this point it is already paid for, so someone should get to enjoy the party. The bride or groom would generally not be in attendance.

After getting through the wedding day, there will be many more questions to be answered. One of the most immediate concerns will be the honeymoon. If a refund is not an option, the jilted person may choose to take the trip anyway, usually bringing along a close friend for moral support. After the humiliation of being publicly jilted, they may be happy to get out of town for a few days and have some time to collect his or her thoughts.

There are also some practicalities that must be addressed. One of the biggest issues concerns the gifts. In some cases, it is very straightforward. Wedding gifts should be returned to the senders with a brief note thanking them for their good wishes.

Etiquette says that if the woman breaks off the engagement, she is obligated to return the ring, along with any other wedding jewelry gifts. When it is the groom who gets cold feet, the woman is not technically required to return the ring to him. The exception is when the jewelry in question is a family heirloom. In that circumstance, it should absolutely be returned to the family from whence it came.

Breaking off a wedding is not easy under any circumstances. It is certainly even harder to accept when it happens on what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. All that you can really do is console yourself that this marriage wasn’t meant to be, and that the right person will come along one day when you least expect it.

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