Choosing a Wedding Officiant

May 12th, 2010

Naturally, if the bride or groom has attended a particular church for a long time, it makes sense to have their priest, rabbi, or minister as the wedding officiant. This is especially true if the bride or groom has some sort of relationship with their minister; it is always obvious during a wedding if the officiant knows the couple personally, and it adds tremendously to the beauty of the ceremony. It is always lovely to hear the pastor talking about the bride and groom and their life together in a way that is specific, rather than merely generic.

On the other hand, it is sort of sad to see the bride up at the altar in her gorgeous gown and spectacular wedding jewelry waiting to say the most important words of her life “(“I do”) and the officiant mispronounces her name. No matter how great she looks in her gown and jewelry, this is a cringe-worthy moment at a wedding. This is why it is far better to be married by your own clergyman, even if it means having the ceremony in a church which is not the most convenient location or the most grand. Better to move the reception, if it means having an officiant who knows you well.

In some cases, the bride and groom will opt to have a secular officiant for their ceremony. It might be that neither is particularly religious, they may not agree on religious denomination and choose to have a neutral wedding, or it may be that they want to get married in a setting for which they cannot have their usual clergyman present. Most Catholics, for instance, will have to get married in a church if they want to have a priest preside over the service; if an outdoor ceremony is the Catholic bride’s wish, it may be necessary to find a justice of the peace.

Another option is to have a close friend or family member certified to be a legal officiant. The rules and laws vary by state, so don’t just assume that your best friend can send away to become a mail-order minister the month before the wedding. Remember that even if it is not feasible for your preferred officiant to become legal to marry you, they can share the role with a justice of the peace who can make the marriage official. That can be a great solution which allows you to have the personal touch of a dear friend helping to marry you while still ensuring that everything will be legal in your home state.


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