Modern Wedding Etiquette

Weddings are full of traditions, customs, and etiquette. However, like all other cultural institutions, wedding are fluid and do change with the times, at least in some instances. Even wedding etiquette evolves, and certain things which were once taboo might now be widely acceptable. This is the most up-to-date modern wedding etiquette.

Old Rule: Black is for funerals, and therefore is strictly taboo for wedding attire.

New Rule: Black is acceptable for wedding attire, particularly in the evening, as long as it is party wear (no business suits on ladies) and worn with festive accessories, such as sparkly Swarovski crystal earrings. A word of caution: this change in etiquette is somewhat regional, being widely accepted in big cities, but not in all areas of the country. A black dress at a wedding in a conservative Southern town is going to be the cause of some raised eyebrows.

Old Rule: The rehearsal dinner is an event for the bridal party and the immediate families of the bride and groom.

New Rule: With most wedding guests being out-of-towners these days, the most gracious option is a wedding welcome party the night before the wedding which includes all of the guests who are present.

Old Rule: Guests may not leave a wedding reception until the newlyweds have made their departure.

New Rule: These days, many newlyweds stay and dance all night at their receptions, especially if they are having a late night after-party with a d.j. Guests who do not have the stamina to outlast the bride and groom can leave after the cake has been cut without feeling impolite.

Old Rule: A white bridal gown represents purity. A first time bride wearing another color risks being labeled a “Jezebel” and a second time bride wearing white is an absolute scandal.

New Rule: White is a just a color, if a traditional one. Any bride may wear white if she pleases, just as any bride may opt for a different color, even red. Like the rule about wearing black, this one may vary depending on how conservative the town or family is. A second time bride should avoid a long train and veil, even if she does wear a white wedding dress.

Naturally, brides and guests may always choose to follow the more traditional form of etiquette (personally, I would not wear an all black dress to a wedding), but the updated etiquette does allow for some more flexibility in preparing for a wedding.

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