Should the Mother of the Bride Be Her Mom-of-Honor?
Without a doubt, being asked to be the maid or matron of honor in a wedding is a major compliment. After all, it is the bride’s way of saying that you are one of the most special and trusted people in her life. If the bride’s mom is the woman with whom she has the strongest bond, she may well wish to elevate her role in the wedding ceremony from simply mother of the bride to “mom-of-honor”.
Having a mom-of-honor tends to work very well when the wedding party is small. If the bride has only one person standing up with her, it is lovely for it to be her mom. In fact, while having one’s mother as the chief honor attendant is fairly rare, it is actually rather common for the groom to choose his father as the best man. When your mom is the only honor attendant, it makes things simple. She can select any dress she likes, pick out sophisticated bridesmaid jewelry, and choose between a bouquet and a corsage.
However, if you plan on having a large group of bridesmaids, it can be a little awkward to have your mother double as the maid of honor. This is not to say that you should not do it; just be sure to think through the logistics carefully beforehand. If your idea of the role of the wedding party is essentially to show up and look pretty for the ceremony, there should be no problem with having your mother in the group. On the other hand, brides who picture their engagement as including a bachelorette weekend in Vegas and a couple of last wild girls’ nights out might feel a bit funny about having their mothers along for the ride. Certainly, you could exclude her from events which are geared towards your contemporaries, but generally speaking, any wedding-related event should include your whole bridal party (well, except for the flower girl). Just be certain that you would be comfortable either omitting these types of events or having them without a maid of honor present.
When the bride’s mother is the matron of honor, she should coordinate with the other bridesmaids, but still dress appropriately for her age and important status. It actually is not so hard to pull this off gracefully, because even when all the bridesmaids wear the same dress, it is quite common to have the maid of honor dress in a way that distinguishes her key role. Select a dress for your mother in the same color and fabric as the younger ladies, but allow her to select a style that is comfortable for her. As for the bridesmaid jewelry gifts, it is customary to give the honor attendant something more elaborate than the rest of the group, so don’t worry about matching the gift for your mom to those of the other bridesmaids. Simply pick out something that you know she will like.
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