The Big Wedding Following a Private Ceremony

For a variety of reasons, sometimes a couple decides to have a very small private wedding ceremony with a justice of the peace, rather than a full scale wedding bash. Whatever the reason, it is not uncommon for the happy married couple to decide several years later that they would like to have a full traditional wedding with all the trimmings, the one that they did not have the first time around. This is a look at the etiquette and practical considerations about planning a big wedding following a private ceremony.

Here is the thing: if you are already married, you are already married. When having a formal wedding following an earlier marriage ceremony, it is technically a renewal of vows. Much of what you do can be the same as any first time wedding, but a few changes are in order. Can the bride wear a long white gown? Absolutely. Is a long veil and a train appropriate? Not to be a downer, but no. A floor length bridal gown with a stunning piece of hair jewelry instead of a veil is the way to go. You can still have bridesmaids, all dressed up in pretty dresses and bridesmaid jewelry precede you down the aisle, and by all means, have a flower girl if you wish.

Gifts are a large part of weddings, but most couples who are already married prefer to make it clear to their guests that no gifts are required. Never write anything about gifts on a wedding or vow renewal invitation, not even if it is a no-gifts request. Ask your close family and friends to spread the word instead, which is very effective. Should someone choose to give you a present anyway, just graciously accept it and consider yourselves lucky to know such generous people. By the way, a bridal shower is not appropriate for a woman who is already married. You could, however, have a special night out with your bridesmaids; it would also be the perfect time to give them their bridesmaid jewelry gifts.

Perhaps the most fun part about planning a big wedding after a private ceremony is that you finally get to have exactly what you want. By the time a couple gets around to it, the bride is usually mature enough that she is comfortable taking the reigns, rather than deferring to her mother on the wedding details. After years of dreaming, it is truly a delight to see your wedding vision come to life!

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