Tips on Customizing Wedding Vows
A great place to start the process of customizing your wedding vows is by reflecting on why you want to say something different. Are you simply a person who prefers things that are unique, rather than standard things that everyone uses for their weddings? Or maybe you feel like the old fashioned vows do not speak to your contemporary views. It could be that you want to say the words that will truly express the depth of your love for your intended. Whatever your personal reason, identifying it will help you set an intention before you sit down to right; with a goal in mind, you will be much better focused.
With an intention in mind, you will be ready to start customizing your vows. The point of adding your own words to your wedding ceremony is to express something personal, so avoid cliched phrases that are no more unique than the standard vows. On the other hand, a wedding is a ceremonial event, and a bit of reserve is called for; in other words, make your vows personal, but not too personal. Never say anything that would embarrass your fiance or any of the guests, especially the grandparents. Risque jokes or naughty innuendos are always a bad idea in wedding vows.
Feel free to include quotes from your favorite authors, poets, and songwriters. Authors that honor your cultural heritage can also be a meaningful inclusion. For instance, if you have chosen Claddagh rings as your wedding jewelry, choose a lovely quote from an Irish poet. This can be a great base upon which to build, especially if you are not accustomed to writing. Use the quote as a starting point, and frame it with your own words to make it more personal.
If you are comfortable with it, include a brief (brief being the operative word) anecdote in your vows. It could be something sweet about how you first met or how much you admired your intended from afar before getting up the nerve to approach him or her. Consider the context of your memory. For instance, if you met the bride at church, that could be a nice thing to include, but if you first saw her at a wet t-shirt contest on spring break, well, you might just want to leave that bit out!
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